zimberzimber
Terrarian
Learn C# and have yourself a razorknightweaponryfest
Story NPC Chronicles
- Thread starter Kyouko Tsukino
- Start date
Jiggly Dragon
Terrarian
One time I had a drayad named Lunette, and a nurse named Amy, at the same time
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
Except for the Old Man/Clothier, the NPCs are all named after what they are in my large "vault" world.
Why the name Gary for the Old Man, in case anyone is still wondering? I just answered it. Gary Oldman, duh.
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
Another chapter up, double posting be damned.
Lunette looked around and let out a long sigh. "I think we've gathered enough for now."
"Think you can make more stuff with it?"
Lunette nodded. "Yeah, we have all the hellstone we want, and we also got a couple interesting things from that Wall."
Amy smiled at that, while she shot a couple flaming bats to dust with her newfound laser rifle. Meanwhile, Bunny was merrily swatting bats away with a giant hammer.
"Bunny, stop tormenting those bats, we're leaving."
"Aww, I was having fun here," Bunny complained, then put the hammer away. "That hammer is powerful, I think it should be called the Pwnhammer because it pwns everything."
"Don't say that."
"What?"
"'Pwn.' What are we, in 1995?"
"You're just jealous because all you got was a Dork Lance."
"It's 'Dark Lance' actually."
Amy sighed. "Quit bickering and let's go, we have to check how things are in the surface."
Lunette grabbed her magic mirror and smiled. "Mirror mirror down in hell, is it sulphur that I smell?"
Dawn cringed. "Let's just go before I summon a few anti-pun turrets."
As soon as the group appeared, they noticed several things were off. First, the sun was... Black? An eclipse? Second, there were dozens of undead and other critters around the base, all trying to get in. And third, there was a giant mech which seemed to be made out of wood pummeling the undead. "Is that Calvin?"
"Feel the fury of Wooddam, you undead scum!" Calvin shouted from the robot.
"Wooddam. They named it Wooddam," Lunette muttered. She sensed movement and spun around, punching a vampire straight in the nose. Before she could finish the creature with her spear, it was cut in half by a sword, but her 'savior' had not been any of her friends.
"Arrr you okay, lass?"
Lunette blinked at the man in front of her. He looked too much like a pirate capitan to not be a pirate captain. "Who are you?"
"Name's Narrow. Jack Narrow," the pirate said. "Me and my boys were gonna pillage this land, but this is one seriously
ed up place, if you don't mind me saying it."
"So, why are you guys helping us?"
"One of those vampires ate Killer, my pet parrot. I ain't leaving this place until the last of these bastards is dead."
"Fair enough," Lunette noted. She saw her friends were all trying their best to fight the hordes of monsters, but this invasion made the Goblin Army look like child's play. "Guys, pull back into the base."
"But we can-" Bunny started before a mummy tackled her into a wall. She unceremoniously hammered it to bloody rags, then frowned. "I guess you're right, Lune."
Calvin sighed. "This piece of wooden junk won't last much longer, but I'll cover you, girls."
If there was one thing about Lunette the others were impressed by, is the speed with which she could craft gear. She had crafted a new flaming sword for Bunny, modified the Flamestorm so it shot molten metal now (Lavastorm, perhaps, would be a better name for it now,) and she had crafted herself a dual glaive which left a trail of fire when she swung it. Dawn had modded her own turrets to shoot fire, and Pearl had asked for a shield and axe.
So, the five walked out, to see the guys had already been working on something of their own - the base now had several turrets mounted around it, and they were using them to mow down the undead invasion. "This is gonna be fun!" Bunny shouted before jumping straight at a group of zombies, using both sword and hammer to smash them.
Lunette and Amy stood close to the base's door, Amy took down the incoming undead while Lunette dealt with any creature who was too fast to kill from range.
Dawn was throwing boxes around as she run, carefully avoiding the enemy crowd, and the boxes turned into turrets which shot fire and missiles (which exploded into showers of fire) at anything unlucky enough to be within range. She saw Pearl was using her shield and her axe as weapons... She had to admit the hair girl wasn't useless.
The battle continued for a long time, and Lunette was worried. While she knew her friends weren't weak, their stamina wasn't infinite. She could see Amy was having a hard time aiming now. "Damn it, this is not going well."
Amy smiled humorlessly. "Don't give up on me, Lune."
"I'm not, I just..." Suddenly, she noticed something: The undead were crawling away. Looking at the horizon, she could see the sun was setting. "What. Those undead... They're afraid of the night?"
"Apparently," Amy said, then jumped in shock as an explosion rocked the place. "What was that?"
Lunette saw something fly at them and reacted quickly, slashing it in half with her glaive. A cannonball? "Hey, Jack, what the hell-"
"Those traitorous bastards!" Jack shouted as he started running towards the beach. "Damn them all!"
Xanos was on top of the base's roof, and looked in the direction of the beach. "That ship's fast. Hey pirate man, you won't catch them swimming."
Jack stopped and muttered a few choice curse words before using his cutlass to chop a tree to pieces. "Damn. It. I knew I should have paid them last month."
"Why don't you stay with us? We're going to need help if another undead attack happens, and... Well, I don't think an NPC would survive for too long out there now that the true evil has awakened."
Jack looked at her. "Sounds like a plan. Who's your captain?"
"I suppose you could call me that," Lunette admitted. "Welcome to the crew."
Since the immediate danger was over, Lunette had decided to craft armor for everyone. A dozen full plate armors made of an alloy of Hellstone and Obsidian, and she had treated hers with the usual dye so that it looked like her normal clothes, but still protected her whole body. She noticed someone was in the forge room and turned around before smiling. "Hi."
Amy smiled back. "Hi."
"Things have been a bit too crazy today, but... You did really mean what you said back then, right?"
Instead of answering with words, Amy walked to Lunette and gave her a kiss on the lips. "Does that answer your question?"
"Sure does." Lunette said, then frowned. "I think I'm going to have eavesdropping rabbit stew for dinner, tho."
"I'm a Bunny, not a rabbit," the Party Girl said from right outside the door.
Lunette chuckled. "Bunny, come in, I wanted to show you something."
Bunny entered the room and saw the armors. "So, is there one for me too?"
The Dryad smiled and pointed at a wall where a pink Hellstone armor was resting. "There."
Bunny looked at the armor for a few seconds before turning to look at the Dryad. "... That looks awesome, thanks Lune."
Amy looked at the other armors. "Think you could... Dye mine white?"
"Sure, I was thinking about using green dye on mine too."
"Hey, those armors look cool," Dawn noted. "I would like mine in yellow."
"Make mine purple, then," Pearl commented.
Lunette looked at the guys. "What about you?"
"I'm fine with the normal color," Tony noted. The other guys nodded in agreement.
"Somehow, I guessed this would happen," Amy admitted, then heard a knock on the door. "Wonder who-"
"Hey guys, care to let me in, there's some large ice slimes around and I don't feel like getting into a fistfight with them."
Lunette opened the door and gasped. "Garret!"
"Uh, yeah. What the hell happened? Last I remember was being at the beach, then I woke up in the snow out there."
"Well, let me tell you what's going on, then," Lunette started.
Razor was getting tired of hiding and running. He was starting to regret 'upgrading' the world, and there simply were no friendly monsters out there anymore. Still, he had decided to check the ocean, and it had paid off. "Hey kid, what are you doing here, it's dangerous to be outside."
The young boy who was apparently fishing didn't turn to look at him. "Simon says shut up."
"Huh?"
"That's not shutting up," the boy noted, this time turning to stare at him evenly.
"Whatever. So I guess your name's Simon? What are you doing, trying to get dinner?"
"No, I'm trying to find a way to bring my master back."
"Your master?"
"Duke Fishron, one of the ancient spirits of Terraria."
Razor smiled wickedly. This actually sounded promising. "Let's suppose I help you. What would I get from that?"
"The Duke is not without gratitude, if you help me awaken him from his slumber, he will make anything you wish come true."
"Anything I wish?" Razor repeated, sure it was too good to be true.
"Let's say someone is sick of this world and wants to return to his own world," Simon said, his face showing that it wasn't just chance that let him choose such example. "If that person helped me, I would tell Fishron to send them back to their world."
"Well Simon, we have a deal. So what do you need me to do?"
"Simon says... Go fish," the boy said, tossing a wooden stick with a fishing line attached to it.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. There's some rare fish I need to get before I can call my master back."
"... Okay then," Razor said. "Where do I look first?"
"Simon says, there's rare fish which only live in the Corruption and Crimson. Get them for me."
"Fine. Can you drop the 'Simon says' crap, tho?"
"Simon says no."
"Whatever," Razor muttered before walking away.
The plot thickens. Or something.
Chapter 8 - Between a rock and a hardmode place
-----
Lunette looked around and let out a long sigh. "I think we've gathered enough for now."
"Think you can make more stuff with it?"
Lunette nodded. "Yeah, we have all the hellstone we want, and we also got a couple interesting things from that Wall."
Amy smiled at that, while she shot a couple flaming bats to dust with her newfound laser rifle. Meanwhile, Bunny was merrily swatting bats away with a giant hammer.
"Bunny, stop tormenting those bats, we're leaving."
"Aww, I was having fun here," Bunny complained, then put the hammer away. "That hammer is powerful, I think it should be called the Pwnhammer because it pwns everything."
"Don't say that."
"What?"
"'Pwn.' What are we, in 1995?"
"You're just jealous because all you got was a Dork Lance."
"It's 'Dark Lance' actually."
Amy sighed. "Quit bickering and let's go, we have to check how things are in the surface."
Lunette grabbed her magic mirror and smiled. "Mirror mirror down in hell, is it sulphur that I smell?"
Dawn cringed. "Let's just go before I summon a few anti-pun turrets."
-----
As soon as the group appeared, they noticed several things were off. First, the sun was... Black? An eclipse? Second, there were dozens of undead and other critters around the base, all trying to get in. And third, there was a giant mech which seemed to be made out of wood pummeling the undead. "Is that Calvin?"
"Feel the fury of Wooddam, you undead scum!" Calvin shouted from the robot.
"Wooddam. They named it Wooddam," Lunette muttered. She sensed movement and spun around, punching a vampire straight in the nose. Before she could finish the creature with her spear, it was cut in half by a sword, but her 'savior' had not been any of her friends.
"Arrr you okay, lass?"
Lunette blinked at the man in front of her. He looked too much like a pirate capitan to not be a pirate captain. "Who are you?"
"Name's Narrow. Jack Narrow," the pirate said. "Me and my boys were gonna pillage this land, but this is one seriously
ed up place, if you don't mind me saying it.""So, why are you guys helping us?"
"One of those vampires ate Killer, my pet parrot. I ain't leaving this place until the last of these bastards is dead."
"Fair enough," Lunette noted. She saw her friends were all trying their best to fight the hordes of monsters, but this invasion made the Goblin Army look like child's play. "Guys, pull back into the base."
"But we can-" Bunny started before a mummy tackled her into a wall. She unceremoniously hammered it to bloody rags, then frowned. "I guess you're right, Lune."
Calvin sighed. "This piece of wooden junk won't last much longer, but I'll cover you, girls."
-----
If there was one thing about Lunette the others were impressed by, is the speed with which she could craft gear. She had crafted a new flaming sword for Bunny, modified the Flamestorm so it shot molten metal now (Lavastorm, perhaps, would be a better name for it now,) and she had crafted herself a dual glaive which left a trail of fire when she swung it. Dawn had modded her own turrets to shoot fire, and Pearl had asked for a shield and axe.
So, the five walked out, to see the guys had already been working on something of their own - the base now had several turrets mounted around it, and they were using them to mow down the undead invasion. "This is gonna be fun!" Bunny shouted before jumping straight at a group of zombies, using both sword and hammer to smash them.
Lunette and Amy stood close to the base's door, Amy took down the incoming undead while Lunette dealt with any creature who was too fast to kill from range.
Dawn was throwing boxes around as she run, carefully avoiding the enemy crowd, and the boxes turned into turrets which shot fire and missiles (which exploded into showers of fire) at anything unlucky enough to be within range. She saw Pearl was using her shield and her axe as weapons... She had to admit the hair girl wasn't useless.
The battle continued for a long time, and Lunette was worried. While she knew her friends weren't weak, their stamina wasn't infinite. She could see Amy was having a hard time aiming now. "Damn it, this is not going well."
Amy smiled humorlessly. "Don't give up on me, Lune."
"I'm not, I just..." Suddenly, she noticed something: The undead were crawling away. Looking at the horizon, she could see the sun was setting. "What. Those undead... They're afraid of the night?"
"Apparently," Amy said, then jumped in shock as an explosion rocked the place. "What was that?"
Lunette saw something fly at them and reacted quickly, slashing it in half with her glaive. A cannonball? "Hey, Jack, what the hell-"
"Those traitorous bastards!" Jack shouted as he started running towards the beach. "Damn them all!"
Xanos was on top of the base's roof, and looked in the direction of the beach. "That ship's fast. Hey pirate man, you won't catch them swimming."
Jack stopped and muttered a few choice curse words before using his cutlass to chop a tree to pieces. "Damn. It. I knew I should have paid them last month."
"Why don't you stay with us? We're going to need help if another undead attack happens, and... Well, I don't think an NPC would survive for too long out there now that the true evil has awakened."
Jack looked at her. "Sounds like a plan. Who's your captain?"
"I suppose you could call me that," Lunette admitted. "Welcome to the crew."
-----
Since the immediate danger was over, Lunette had decided to craft armor for everyone. A dozen full plate armors made of an alloy of Hellstone and Obsidian, and she had treated hers with the usual dye so that it looked like her normal clothes, but still protected her whole body. She noticed someone was in the forge room and turned around before smiling. "Hi."
Amy smiled back. "Hi."
"Things have been a bit too crazy today, but... You did really mean what you said back then, right?"
Instead of answering with words, Amy walked to Lunette and gave her a kiss on the lips. "Does that answer your question?"
"Sure does." Lunette said, then frowned. "I think I'm going to have eavesdropping rabbit stew for dinner, tho."
"I'm a Bunny, not a rabbit," the Party Girl said from right outside the door.
Lunette chuckled. "Bunny, come in, I wanted to show you something."
Bunny entered the room and saw the armors. "So, is there one for me too?"
The Dryad smiled and pointed at a wall where a pink Hellstone armor was resting. "There."
Bunny looked at the armor for a few seconds before turning to look at the Dryad. "... That looks awesome, thanks Lune."
Amy looked at the other armors. "Think you could... Dye mine white?"
"Sure, I was thinking about using green dye on mine too."
-----
"Hey, those armors look cool," Dawn noted. "I would like mine in yellow."
"Make mine purple, then," Pearl commented.
Lunette looked at the guys. "What about you?"
"I'm fine with the normal color," Tony noted. The other guys nodded in agreement.
"Somehow, I guessed this would happen," Amy admitted, then heard a knock on the door. "Wonder who-"
"Hey guys, care to let me in, there's some large ice slimes around and I don't feel like getting into a fistfight with them."
Lunette opened the door and gasped. "Garret!"
"Uh, yeah. What the hell happened? Last I remember was being at the beach, then I woke up in the snow out there."
"Well, let me tell you what's going on, then," Lunette started.
-----
Razor was getting tired of hiding and running. He was starting to regret 'upgrading' the world, and there simply were no friendly monsters out there anymore. Still, he had decided to check the ocean, and it had paid off. "Hey kid, what are you doing here, it's dangerous to be outside."
The young boy who was apparently fishing didn't turn to look at him. "Simon says shut up."
"Huh?"
"That's not shutting up," the boy noted, this time turning to stare at him evenly.
"Whatever. So I guess your name's Simon? What are you doing, trying to get dinner?"
"No, I'm trying to find a way to bring my master back."
"Your master?"
"Duke Fishron, one of the ancient spirits of Terraria."
Razor smiled wickedly. This actually sounded promising. "Let's suppose I help you. What would I get from that?"
"The Duke is not without gratitude, if you help me awaken him from his slumber, he will make anything you wish come true."
"Anything I wish?" Razor repeated, sure it was too good to be true.
"Let's say someone is sick of this world and wants to return to his own world," Simon said, his face showing that it wasn't just chance that let him choose such example. "If that person helped me, I would tell Fishron to send them back to their world."
"Well Simon, we have a deal. So what do you need me to do?"
"Simon says... Go fish," the boy said, tossing a wooden stick with a fishing line attached to it.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. There's some rare fish I need to get before I can call my master back."
"... Okay then," Razor said. "Where do I look first?"
"Simon says, there's rare fish which only live in the Corruption and Crimson. Get them for me."
"Fine. Can you drop the 'Simon says' crap, tho?"
"Simon says no."
"Whatever," Razor muttered before walking away.
The plot thickens. Or something.
Last edited:
Just_A_Dude
Official Terrarian
Oh f***, that'll be interesting to watch.
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
But the poor guy just wants to go home, tho.
That will be uninteresting to watch. Or will it? Dun dun DUNNNNNN.
That will be uninteresting to watch. Or will it? Dun dun DUNNNNNN.
zimberzimber
Terrarian
Now you are turning them into freaking power rangers?
Whats next? Razor builds a super mechanical base and starts hating blue hedgehogs?
Whats next? Razor builds a super mechanical base and starts hating blue hedgehogs?
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
I said no spoilers.
Also, Power Rangers? There's only one giant mech, and it's made of wood. Not much of a Zord force there.
Also, Power Rangers? There's only one giant mech, and it's made of wood. Not much of a Zord force there.
zimberzimber
Terrarian
You gave them colored suites fitting the PR color scheme so far. (I think)
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
Power Rangers and their clones aren't the only "color schemed for your convenience" type of heroes out there, though.
LoveSpreader
Terrarian
Or possibly the Sailor Moon's. Anyway, there might be only one GunWooddam, but it'll work. It just need 5 cockpits finely attuned to everyone's colors.
Also, zimber, white rangers are usually the lone wolf. The stray, the extra, the one added as deus ex machina when they run out of ideas for 5 people.
Also, zimber, white rangers are usually the lone wolf. The stray, the extra, the one added as deus ex machina when they run out of ideas for 5 people.
J Fizzle
Golem
I'm just gonna say for the record the only thing here that kind of confused me was when Garret came back. It said "The Dryad sighed, 'Garret!'" Why did she "Sigh" it? Did you mean "gasped" it? Because that would make more sense, since you put an exclamation mark. Otherwise, this story is gr8! Can't wait for Chapter 9.
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
Considering the "lone wolf" will have black armor, it's much closer to Sailor Moon. Also, "all girls in the main team" should have been a hint, Magical Girl shows in general do the color code thing.
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
I think the only answer I can give is "why not?" 
Not the first time avillain antagonist is basically me with superpowers (or cool weapons) but it's the first time I do name one after me.
Not the first time a
Just_A_Dude
Official Terrarian
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
I would lie if I said I am not inspired by Magical Girl anime when making it so all the main characters are female.
Kyouko Tsukino
Steampunker
Another chapter done. A bit shorter than I thought.
"... And we'll need to break three of those altars to make the mystical ores appear."
"Wait, what happens if we break more than three?" Bunny asked.
"The more we break, the more materials we'll have, but the more creatures there will be within the evil biome," Garret explained.
Bunny smiled. "We should just break ALL the altars."
"So basically, there's stronger mobs in both the Corruption and Crimson now, and we'll have to beat them to get ores with which we can defeat their bosses?" Lunette asked.
"That's basically it," Garret admitted.
"Sounds like a lot of fun," Lunette muttered.
"But what is the new evil?"
Garret looked at Amy. "You'll know when you see it. Just be warned, though, appearances can deceive."
Lunette smiled. "I think I'll go explore for a bit. Anyone wants to tag along?"
Amy was the only one nodding at that. "Hey, what's wrong with everyone?"
"They must be tired, I won't blame them," Lunette said. "But this will be like the old times."
"You're talking like it's been years, but it hasn't even been one month yet."
"Is it just me, or this place got colder?"
"No, it's not just you," Lunette admitted. "But really, surface creatures are still a joke, it only takes a couple pokes to kill one of those icy slimes."
"Perhaps we should go explore the underground?"
"Perhaps..." Lunette said, then sighed. "Oh, there's snow bunnies in here," she said as she tossed a bomb in a seemingly random direction.
"Eeek!" Bunny leapt out of a hole, barely missing the blast. "What the hell?"
"If you wanted to tag along, you should have said so from the start."
"Uh, sorry. At first I didn't feel like exploring but then I thought you would be seeing a lot of new stuff, so I followed you, but then you seemed to be having fun and I didn't want to be the third wheel, so..."
"You decided to stalk us."
"Yeah," Bunny admitted, not minding the way the other two women looked at her.
Lunette smiled. "You know, you're like the daughter I never had and would have probably sacrificed to some ancient god if I did."
Bunny stared blankly at her. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. Anyhow... What's the plan?"
"We were about to go down-"
"Lewd."
"- to the underground, I meant to the underground!" Amy completed, feeling her cheeks redden.
"You look cute when you blush," Lunette said. "Anyhow, let's go find a way in, there should be an opening or som-"
Amy saw her friend disappear from sight as they walked, and groaned in disbelief. "Seriously, Lune?"
A muffled "sorry" came from underneath the snow, causing Amy to groan again.
"This place is cool, pun very intended," Bunny noted.
"Needs more pink," Lunette joked.
"Incoming," Amy said, then looked at the creature walking to them. "What is that?"
"Awwww look at it it looks like a small ball of white fluff how cute."
Lunette saw the creature was, indeed, a small, white ball of "fluff." Still, something seemed off about it. "Wait, Bunny, I don't think-"
Bunny was petting the creature. "What? This thing is so cute and harmle-" She stopped as she felt a sharp pain, and turned to see the "cute" creature now had her fingers in its mouth. "Oww what the hell you dumbass piece of fluff!"
Amy cringed as Bunny used the large hammer ("Pwnhammer") to turn the small creature into a stain in the ice. "Don't judge a book by its cover."
"Or a cook by his brother," Lunette said. The others looked at her quizically, so she shrugged. "Don't ask."
Bunny suddenly looked around. "Oh hey, I hear something."
Amy nodded. "I hear it too. Let's see what's lurking out there."
They followed the noises for a while, and soon found the source. A girl was sitting on the icy ground, sobbing, and was only wearing underwear. "Strange. Another NPC?"
Bunny smiled. "Let's find out. Hey, girl, are you okay?"
The girl stopped sobbing and looked at her, then did something they weren't expecting. It snarled at them and started running their way, while her hair turned white and her skin grew paler. Her hands had very long, sharp-looking nails, and she swiped them at Bunny, who barely dodged them.
"Second time I try to be nice to stuff in this place and I get nothing but agression," Bunny complained as she dodged the monster girl's swipes. She then took out her hammer and glared at the girl, who stopped trying to claw her and instead started backing away. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE THIS WHOLE BIOME CAN GO FU-"
"Bunny, she's already dead, you can stop hammering her head now."
Bunny looked at the remains of the fake NPC and let out a frustrated sigh. ", I need candies."
"Let's go back to the surface," Lunette noted. "I saw a tunnel up a few minutes ago."
Amy nodded. "Yeah, let's get out of here before we find some other 'harmless' creature."
Several snow-related puns later, the three girls were back at the surface, but something was off. A lot of things, actually. "Why is the grass all bluey?"
"Bluey?" Lunette mused.
"I would have said 'cyany' but that's not a word."
Amy flinched. "This..."
"What's wrong?"
"I read several books back when we were trying to find out why Garret exploded on us. The 'true evil' described in some of them sounded a lot like this place."
Bunny laughed at that. "Seriously? But how can this place be evil, there's fluffy grass and fluffy trees and OH MY GOSH."
"What?" Lunette asked, then saw what the girl was staring at. "Bunny, wait-"
"I ALWAYS WANTED A UNICORN!"
Amy took out her minigun. "That girl's got more issues than the Naruto manga."
"The what? Oh wait, something else you read back at school?"
"... Sort of. Anyhow, should we help her?"
"Knowing Bunny, we should help the poor horny horse."
"... Bad choice of words?" Amy noted.
"Not really."
Bunny was meanwhile running straight at the white unicorn. The creature noticed her and let out a neigh, then charged straight at her. However, Bunny leapt over it and landed right on its back, grabbing its ears and pulling on them, causing the unicorn to stop and neigh again. "Forward, my loyal steed!"
Lunette saw Bunny ride away on the unicorn's back and shook her head. "I'm impressed, but not surprised."
"Let's follow her."
"Or we could just stay here and... 'Explore.'"
"No, we need to keep the rating PG."
Lunette sighed. "The fourth wall will not resist so many beatings."
Unknown to them, someone was observing them as they left. No, it was still too soon to make an appearance, but soon, they would know what true power looks like. Soon...
"He followed me home, can I keep him?"
Calvin looked at the unicorn. "... What in the seven layers of hell."
Lunette and Amy run in right then, both looking quite exhausted. "Damn it... Bunny, you just run all the way back here?"
Bunny smiled at them. "I wanted Mr. Hornsworth to see his new home."
"Mr. Hornsworth, really?" Amy muttered.
"I thought about naming him 'Horny' but then I realized that would be awkward."
"... Good call."
Garret looked at the creature. "But this is... It's one of the lesser inhabitants of the Hallow. It's an evil creature. We cannot keep something as evil as this with us."
Tony saw Bunny petting the unicorn and sighed. "It looks harmless."
Lunette saw Tony walk to the creature. "Tony, wait, it-"
Tony reached out to pet the unicorn, smiling. "It's okay, see, he's docile." He then yelped and pulled his hand back as the creature tried to bite it off. "Okay, so maybe he's not docile."
Bunny hugged the unicorn's neck from above. "Aww, but he's such a darling!"
"I guess crazy, psychopatic creatures get along," Xanos noted, earning a twin glare from the unicorn and his newfound 'master.'"
"So, this is what you wanted."
Simon giggled in a totally-not-insane way. "Oh yeah, with this I can craft the item I need to awaken The Destroyer."
"That sounds like it will be bad news for those NPC freaks," Razor admitted.
"It is an abomination made of metal and flesh, a gigantic worm with enough power to take down a whole army. A bunch of NPCs will not be able to defeat it."
"Good. But they can respawn."
"I know, but whether they win or not is of no consequence. Awakening the Three Mechanic Horrors is one of the rituals needed to awaken my Master."
"Okay, so what do I do next?"
"Simon says, go catch me a few more fish."
"... All right, boss." Razor wasn't complaining, though. Thanks to his fishing trips, he was already much stronger than those NPCs, at least individually. Heck, he even had wings. WINGS! What could that ragtag bunch of losers do against someone with wings? Still, he had learnt his lesson, he would not underestimate his foes again.
The plot is so thick you could build a fortress out of it.
Chapter 9 - My Little Uni: Crazy is Magic
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"... And we'll need to break three of those altars to make the mystical ores appear."
"Wait, what happens if we break more than three?" Bunny asked.
"The more we break, the more materials we'll have, but the more creatures there will be within the evil biome," Garret explained.
Bunny smiled. "We should just break ALL the altars."
"So basically, there's stronger mobs in both the Corruption and Crimson now, and we'll have to beat them to get ores with which we can defeat their bosses?" Lunette asked.
"That's basically it," Garret admitted.
"Sounds like a lot of fun," Lunette muttered.
"But what is the new evil?"
Garret looked at Amy. "You'll know when you see it. Just be warned, though, appearances can deceive."
Lunette smiled. "I think I'll go explore for a bit. Anyone wants to tag along?"
Amy was the only one nodding at that. "Hey, what's wrong with everyone?"
"They must be tired, I won't blame them," Lunette said. "But this will be like the old times."
"You're talking like it's been years, but it hasn't even been one month yet."
-----
"Is it just me, or this place got colder?"
"No, it's not just you," Lunette admitted. "But really, surface creatures are still a joke, it only takes a couple pokes to kill one of those icy slimes."
"Perhaps we should go explore the underground?"
"Perhaps..." Lunette said, then sighed. "Oh, there's snow bunnies in here," she said as she tossed a bomb in a seemingly random direction.
"Eeek!" Bunny leapt out of a hole, barely missing the blast. "What the hell?"
"If you wanted to tag along, you should have said so from the start."
"Uh, sorry. At first I didn't feel like exploring but then I thought you would be seeing a lot of new stuff, so I followed you, but then you seemed to be having fun and I didn't want to be the third wheel, so..."
"You decided to stalk us."
"Yeah," Bunny admitted, not minding the way the other two women looked at her.
Lunette smiled. "You know, you're like the daughter I never had and would have probably sacrificed to some ancient god if I did."
Bunny stared blankly at her. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. Anyhow... What's the plan?"
"We were about to go down-"
"Lewd."
"- to the underground, I meant to the underground!" Amy completed, feeling her cheeks redden.
"You look cute when you blush," Lunette said. "Anyhow, let's go find a way in, there should be an opening or som-"
Amy saw her friend disappear from sight as they walked, and groaned in disbelief. "Seriously, Lune?"
A muffled "sorry" came from underneath the snow, causing Amy to groan again.
-----
"This place is cool, pun very intended," Bunny noted.
"Needs more pink," Lunette joked.
"Incoming," Amy said, then looked at the creature walking to them. "What is that?"
"Awwww look at it it looks like a small ball of white fluff how cute."
Lunette saw the creature was, indeed, a small, white ball of "fluff." Still, something seemed off about it. "Wait, Bunny, I don't think-"
Bunny was petting the creature. "What? This thing is so cute and harmle-" She stopped as she felt a sharp pain, and turned to see the "cute" creature now had her fingers in its mouth. "Oww what the hell you dumbass piece of fluff!"
Amy cringed as Bunny used the large hammer ("Pwnhammer") to turn the small creature into a stain in the ice. "Don't judge a book by its cover."
"Or a cook by his brother," Lunette said. The others looked at her quizically, so she shrugged. "Don't ask."
Bunny suddenly looked around. "Oh hey, I hear something."
Amy nodded. "I hear it too. Let's see what's lurking out there."
They followed the noises for a while, and soon found the source. A girl was sitting on the icy ground, sobbing, and was only wearing underwear. "Strange. Another NPC?"
Bunny smiled. "Let's find out. Hey, girl, are you okay?"
The girl stopped sobbing and looked at her, then did something they weren't expecting. It snarled at them and started running their way, while her hair turned white and her skin grew paler. Her hands had very long, sharp-looking nails, and she swiped them at Bunny, who barely dodged them.
"Second time I try to be nice to stuff in this place and I get nothing but agression," Bunny complained as she dodged the monster girl's swipes. She then took out her hammer and glared at the girl, who stopped trying to claw her and instead started backing away. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE THIS WHOLE BIOME CAN GO FU-"
"Bunny, she's already dead, you can stop hammering her head now."
Bunny looked at the remains of the fake NPC and let out a frustrated sigh. "
, I need candies.""Let's go back to the surface," Lunette noted. "I saw a tunnel up a few minutes ago."
Amy nodded. "Yeah, let's get out of here before we find some other 'harmless' creature."
-----
Several snow-related puns later, the three girls were back at the surface, but something was off. A lot of things, actually. "Why is the grass all bluey?"
"Bluey?" Lunette mused.
"I would have said 'cyany' but that's not a word."
Amy flinched. "This..."
"What's wrong?"
"I read several books back when we were trying to find out why Garret exploded on us. The 'true evil' described in some of them sounded a lot like this place."
Bunny laughed at that. "Seriously? But how can this place be evil, there's fluffy grass and fluffy trees and OH MY GOSH."
"What?" Lunette asked, then saw what the girl was staring at. "Bunny, wait-"
"I ALWAYS WANTED A UNICORN!"
Amy took out her minigun. "That girl's got more issues than the Naruto manga."
"The what? Oh wait, something else you read back at school?"
"... Sort of. Anyhow, should we help her?"
"Knowing Bunny, we should help the poor horny horse."
"... Bad choice of words?" Amy noted.
"Not really."
Bunny was meanwhile running straight at the white unicorn. The creature noticed her and let out a neigh, then charged straight at her. However, Bunny leapt over it and landed right on its back, grabbing its ears and pulling on them, causing the unicorn to stop and neigh again. "Forward, my loyal steed!"
Lunette saw Bunny ride away on the unicorn's back and shook her head. "I'm impressed, but not surprised."
"Let's follow her."
"Or we could just stay here and... 'Explore.'"
"No, we need to keep the rating PG."
Lunette sighed. "The fourth wall will not resist so many beatings."
Unknown to them, someone was observing them as they left. No, it was still too soon to make an appearance, but soon, they would know what true power looks like. Soon...
-----
"He followed me home, can I keep him?"
Calvin looked at the unicorn. "... What in the seven layers of hell."
Lunette and Amy run in right then, both looking quite exhausted. "Damn it... Bunny, you just run all the way back here?"
Bunny smiled at them. "I wanted Mr. Hornsworth to see his new home."
"Mr. Hornsworth, really?" Amy muttered.
"I thought about naming him 'Horny' but then I realized that would be awkward."
"... Good call."
Garret looked at the creature. "But this is... It's one of the lesser inhabitants of the Hallow. It's an evil creature. We cannot keep something as evil as this with us."
Tony saw Bunny petting the unicorn and sighed. "It looks harmless."
Lunette saw Tony walk to the creature. "Tony, wait, it-"
Tony reached out to pet the unicorn, smiling. "It's okay, see, he's docile." He then yelped and pulled his hand back as the creature tried to bite it off. "Okay, so maybe he's not docile."
Bunny hugged the unicorn's neck from above. "Aww, but he's such a darling!"
"I guess crazy, psychopatic creatures get along," Xanos noted, earning a twin glare from the unicorn and his newfound 'master.'"
-----
"So, this is what you wanted."
Simon giggled in a totally-not-insane way. "Oh yeah, with this I can craft the item I need to awaken The Destroyer."
"That sounds like it will be bad news for those NPC freaks," Razor admitted.
"It is an abomination made of metal and flesh, a gigantic worm with enough power to take down a whole army. A bunch of NPCs will not be able to defeat it."
"Good. But they can respawn."
"I know, but whether they win or not is of no consequence. Awakening the Three Mechanic Horrors is one of the rituals needed to awaken my Master."
"Okay, so what do I do next?"
"Simon says, go catch me a few more fish."
"... All right, boss." Razor wasn't complaining, though. Thanks to his fishing trips, he was already much stronger than those NPCs, at least individually. Heck, he even had wings. WINGS! What could that ragtag bunch of losers do against someone with wings? Still, he had learnt his lesson, he would not underestimate his foes again.
The plot is so thick you could build a fortress out of it.
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