# Absorb The Non-Issue

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
My brain shuts down from the math, also the universe is erased because of dividing by zero. (Also the answer is 0,125.)

I managed to actually calculate that.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
I die of shock.

I crash the gold market.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
As it turns out, that was the source of the money I needed to stay alive.

I can no longer afford to stay alive.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
So you steal my money.

Now i'm the one who can't afford living.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
You discover you can get all the money you need by killing me, so you do.

I get murdered for money.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
Someone murders me to get revenge.

I hire an assassin.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
They missed the shot and hit me instead.

I die from a bullet meant for someone else.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
I die from a bullet meant for me.

*GAU-8 Avenger sounds*

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
*sounds of me being hit by the shots but it's covered by the sound of more of those shots being fired*

I die from being shot so much there's literally nothing left other than a bloodstain.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
I slip on your bloodstain, then fall down a hill and drown in a river.

I sharpen a pencil.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
And stab me with it.

I get stabbed with a writing tool.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
It somehow pierces through you and impales me.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
To see me get hit by a train.

I get hit by a train

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
I try to help, but then get hit by a second train.

I release a cat from a cage.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
I get hit by a car saving the cat from being hit by it as it ran into traffic.

I get hit by a car to prevent the same form happening to a cat.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
I was driving the car, the cat then kills me to get revenge.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
You hear report of a murder, I was the victim.

I go on the internet.

#### Dragonwolf73

##### Eater of Worlds
Instead of helping me, I bleed to death.

I play a flight simulator.

#### Anthony Slyck

##### Duke Fishron
You somehow manage to hog so much energy with it that my pacemaker stops, and I collapse dead.

I drink a glass of cola.

#### Chir'

##### Duke Fishron
It was poisoned, you think I did it and kill me.

I was innocent.