Absorb The Non-Issue

My brain shuts down from the math, also the universe is erased because of dividing by zero. (Also the answer is 0,125.)

I managed to actually calculate that.
 
I die of shock.



I crash the gold market.
 
As it turns out, that was the source of the money I needed to stay alive.

I can no longer afford to stay alive.
 
So you steal my money.


Now i'm the one who can't afford living.
 
You discover you can get all the money you need by killing me, so you do.

I get murdered for money.
 
Someone murders me to get revenge.


I hire an assassin.
 
They missed the shot and hit me instead.

I die from a bullet meant for someone else.
 
I die from a bullet meant for me.


*GAU-8 Avenger sounds*
 
*sounds of me being hit by the shots but it's covered by the sound of more of those shots being fired*

I die from being shot so much there's literally nothing left other than a bloodstain.
 
I slip on your bloodstain, then fall down a hill and drown in a river.


I sharpen a pencil.
 
And stab me with it.

I get stabbed with a writing tool.
 
It somehow pierces through you and impales me.


I watch a railroad crossing.
 
To see me get hit by a train.

I get hit by a train
 
I try to help, but then get hit by a second train.


I release a cat from a cage.
 
I get hit by a car saving the cat from being hit by it as it ran into traffic.

I get hit by a car to prevent the same form happening to a cat.
 
I was driving the car, the cat then kills me to get revenge.


I turn on a radio.
 
You hear report of a murder, I was the victim.

I go on the internet.
 
Instead of helping me, I bleed to death.


I play a flight simulator.
 
You somehow manage to hog so much energy with it that my pacemaker stops, and I collapse dead.

I drink a glass of cola.
 
It was poisoned, you think I did it and kill me.

I was innocent.
 
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