Corrupt a Wish

Granted. Nothing happens because your wish affected itself.
I wish for a faster, cheaper, legal Internet connection that doesn't rely on some weird :red: that can cause it to kill me or hurt me or send me to a weird dimension or hurt me or anyone I know in any way whatsoever.
 
Granted, but the police arrest you because you never paid your taxes.

I wish for a lifetime supply of potatoes.
 
Granted but they get exposed to radiation and become sentient mutant monster potatoes that destroy everything around you and go on a rampage through the city. They eat all the nuclear power plants and then grow to get humongous and then proceed to take over the world. They consume the world and hop from planet to planet devouring all the species on the planet and taking over the universe. But it doesn't stop there. They eventually make their way to the edge of the universe, and they have spread so much that all the energy in the universe is gone, so now they go plaguing each and every universe and devouring all the energy until reality ceases to exist.

I wish that I could write long, elaborate stories.
 
Granted but it crashes as soon as you get on and everyone dies.

I wish for the power to breath underwater and withstand the pressure so I can live in a pineapple under the sea.
 
Granted but the townspeople don't like a tower so they sign a petition to knock it down.

I wish for extremely cheap and fast internet.
 
Granted but it infects every device in the world. Now everyone hates you.

I wish for a never-ending donut that never goes bad.
 
Granted. Now your name is Bill Gates. Oh, and Hitler and Bill Gates have switched names, so now you have a really unfortunate name.
I wish I could get a plane that didn't crash... and which also was cheap to maintain, easy to fly, and small.
 
Granted, but it's stolen by some teenagers in the middle of the night. They have also sprayed it with "Deexon's All-stick, No remove Spray Paint"

I wish I had some croutons.
 
Granted, but every single ingredient apart from the croutons is of terrible quality, with the best-quality ones being in a rotting state.
I wish that the broken leg of a street cat I know heals correctly, quickly, and without any issues.
 
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