Music and musician jokes, yay! (I play drums, keyboards, guitar, bass, etc. so it's okay for me to tell these.)
Q: What do you say to a drummer in a suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise…"
Q: What are the three most difficult years of a bass player's life?
A: Fifth grade.
Q: How many guitars does a guitarist really need?
A: Just one more.
Q: How do you get a keyboard player off your front porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.
Q: What is the range of the clarinet?
A: About thirty yards if you have a good throwing arm.