Kill the Above Poster with the Weapon They Give You

You are distracted by it while I'm busy attempting to recreate the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, and you get caught in it.

A piece of paper.
 
[ERROR: Unexpected " " at post654. Terminating Champion_Greninjoid.exe]

A small magnetic container used to hold screws.
 
You put it behind your head, and...well...turns out it can attract screw drivers as well as screws.

Marry Poppins
 
I lead a project to upload your consciousness into a hard drive for artificial intelligence, but then destroy the hard drive.

The letter E
 
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