Kill the Above Poster with the Weapon They Give You

[Champion Greninjoid]

I stab you with it, and it’s rusty so you get infected and die.

Grape Juice

 

[Vella]

I wait for it to become vinegar, then make you drink it. You get drunk even if it tastes horrible, and then cause a car accident where you die.

Smartphone.

 

[Champion Greninjoid]

You are distracted by it and don’t notice a car headed straight for you.

One kernel of corn

 

[Tibithia Σ]

You are distracted by it while I'm busy attempting to recreate the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, and you get caught in it.

A piece of paper.

 

[Prince Ink]

You get a deep paper cut on your neck after someone makes a paper airplane and throws it at you.

YouTube

 

[Vella]

I upload a video of stupid L4D bots, then while you're distracted watching it, I snap your neck.

X key.

 

[Prince Ink]

I put two Xs over your eyes using the x key.

A cloud.

 

[Vella]

I put a lightning rod at your head and make the cloud strike its lightning... at you.

Alt + F4

 

[Prince Ink]

*Insert blank space*

Huh, looks like you closed the window before saving. Now all your data including your life is now deleted.

Legos

 

[Talus]

you step on them
null

 

[Tibithia Σ]

...I don't really know what that is, so I'll hit you over the head with the "Null" license plate.

A pair of glasses.

 

[Sandbox & RPG]

You wore it and became so cool that I died because I lack that level of coolness.

"We're going to be talking about-" meme.

 

[Prince Ink]

"We're going to be talking about how to kill Sandbox & RPG."

A photo

 

[Champion Greninjoid]

…Of you committing a terrible crime. I convict you and you receive the death sentence.

 

[Streyll]

[ERROR: Unexpected " " at post654. Terminating Champion_Greninjoid.exe]

A small magnetic container used to hold screws.

 

[Prince Ink]

You put it behind your head, and...well...turns out it can attract screw drivers as well as screws.

Marry Poppins

 

[Vella]

I make Bloody Mary watch the Harry Potter name, and she brutally murders you over disrespecting 'typo'.

Keyboard.

 

[Prince Ink]

I make Bloody Mary watch the Harry Potter name, and she brutally murders you over disrespecting 'typo'.

Keyboard.

Ctrl+A+Delete. You are now deleted.

Art

 

[Vella]

Ctrl+A+Delete. You are now deleted.

Art

(Technically Ctrl+Shift+Escape does its job too)
I put you into a statue (since it's also an artwork), suffocating you within it.

Hard Drive

 

[Prince Ink]

I lead a project to upload your consciousness into a hard drive for artificial intelligence, but then destroy the hard drive.

The letter E