Hello! Please enjoy the Terraria Absolutus. This project combines many literature projects in one giant conglomeration for your enjoyment. So buckle down and prepare for the works of many talented writers to engage you on a literary adventure. I'd like to extend my thanks to all of the fantastic contributors to the project for participating and being members of the team.
Well, I'd like to say one thing to explain things and clear some things up: !Shia Surprise¡ We discontinued this idea, but we've decided that with the closure of other projects it might be time to take another look.
So, to kick this off we'll post the final edition of The Fallen Star Bestiary, thread, both on its thread and here. That will be the final time it will ever be posted on its thread.
The plan is to continue with our current team of writers from the Bestiary, as a new group. As a group we can decide what we'd like to write about and how much we are capable of handling. That feeds into our schedule, which will be rather rough at this point. We will attempt our best to get stuff out weekly, we promise. *Shot* Postings will be made on a system of weekly rotations, not necessarily chronologically, with what literature will be posted.
Rotations
1: Biomes - Another Fallen Star project this time detailing in-game biomes, and fan suggested ones.
2: Creatures - The Fallen Star Bestiary.
3: Weapons - Articles detailing actual advice on how to use them, with literature entangled.
4: Food - Papa Pixel's Corner Cafè
5: Unconfirmed - As we go we plan to amend this section and contribute new rotations.
***Note: This will be our 'project' schedule. Projects will be the major texts produced by our team with the most content and effort. As we stated, weekly. This does not limit other miniature literature posts made, which may be a one off thing or even a short series. These might even be things from our rotations produced out of order to restore momentum or because they are significantly smaller.
You can expect the first entries to dwindle in within a few hours, from time of posting.
Artists & Writers
I'll just dedicate this section to all of the contributors who've decided to dedicate there work to the production of this product. Of course, the previously Fallen Star, Terraria Absolotus Team.
@ajidot - That stunningly talented banner displaying both project heads for us. @Anythin - The text that will soon boast every future entry.
Hi Teal! I know this has probably already been asked, but I am still part of the Bestiary? Also a suggestion for the Unconfirmed is the Poetry Tavern (or whatever it is called), unless you wish to keep that as a stand alone project that is.
Hello, folks! After immense procrastination we've finally been able to release the first edition of Terraria Absolotus. This edition marks the start of a new rotation and the writing to match. We present "Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios" appropriately named after the guy who masterminded the idea. A humorous guide detailing how a player might pull through unlikely events. We would love if someone might be able to produce a banner for this one.
Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios
Hello, adventurer! You have most undoubtedly picked up this book in an attempt to jumpstart your career. I, over the course of many successful years of adventuring, have encountered many unexpected events. That is why I present to you this guide, Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios. I will tutor you, throughout the endurance of your reading. May this book aid you in your endeavors, for it has done so for many others, as shown below. I can recollect countless times in battles where I've retrieved my own guide to cite specific information, conveniently organized in the table of contents, to help me.
TESTIMONIALS:
“Thanks to Kazzy’s survival guide for incredibly unpredictable and unlikely scenarios, I only lost one leg to the vile Corrupted Goldfish! A must have for every adventurer, whether beginning, experienced, or dead.” - Imelda Goosenheimer
“Do you know what to do when a pirate invasion hits while you’re locked in the restroom? No? Well, thanks to Kazzy’s survival guide, I do! Saved my behind (no pun intended)!” - George Shrcewyuermoshër.
"I was incredibly lucky to have my edition of this guide with me when I accidentally fell into lava. I was going to flip to ‘How to Swim in Lava Without Proper Swimming Trunks’, but sadly the book burned before I could retrieve this information. Don't be caught without it!"
"I would've never suspected the dungeon to be dangerous if it hadn't been for Kazzy's Survival Guide! The edition geniusly covered how to defend yourself with a grandfather clock! Sadly, none were available at the time (pun not intended)."
"I'm hopeful that his next guide will cover how to defend oneself with gravestones, considering I've a lot of those using this great book."
“You will never know exactly how dangerous making a bowl of soup is without this terrific handbook! Without it, I definitely wouldn’t have been alive today to tell the tale. Recommended for everyone (especially the illiterate)!” - Ramses Gordon
In this entry of "Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios" we will cover the do's and don'ts of a Solar Eclipse. More specifically, how to defend yourself and your inhabitants whilst hungover after a long night of partying. Not that I would ever be hungover, of course. This was most assuredly a user submitted question. I mean, we've all had times when all we can remember after waking up in the bathtub is drinking a whole keg of ale the night before, right? Barring myself, of course. Perhaps one of your mates spiked your drinks? Well, this edition covers that too. For the sake of our more competent readers we'll start with the do's, not including the best ways to drink ale. You should find that out for yourself.
Preparations:
First of all, you must confirm that you are currently experiencing both a Solar Eclipse and a hangover. This can be quite difficult when you actually do have a hangover, so if you can confirm this right away, you are not experiencing a hangover and therefore this guide won’t be of much use to you (unless you want to hit something with it, for which we suggest using a sword).
To confirm that you have a hangover, feel. If you feel terrible, have a pounding headache, are nauseous and can not walk in a straight line for the life of you, you are probably experiencing a hangover (or possibly another serious medical condition which you might want someone to look at).
To confirm that it is indeed a Solar Eclipse, go outside and look at the sun. If you can not see anything, it’s night, which means that you can still have a quick drink before heading off to bed again. If you feel a terrible pain in your eyes and head, followed by a short period of blindness, it is day, but not a Solar Eclipse, which mean you can get back in bed (note that another symptom of a hangover is intolerance to light, so shades or heavy squinting are recommended for this step just in case). If you are not immediately blinded but can see a black disk surrounded by a glowing ring, then you are in fact witnessing a Solar Eclipse. Another indication of a Solar Eclipse is a massive amount of scary things coming towards you with the intent of killing you, which, even when drunk, is a pretty big giveaway.
Step 1: Get a grip (not literally, although it will help if you fall over a lot, which is a known common problem for those drunk)
Chances of surviving a solar eclipse without a proper grasp of where you are, what is coming towards you and why the room is spinning are very low. Therefore, it’s important that you get a clear head. The most efficient way of doing this is to sober up, although this is rather difficult since it either takes time, in generous amounts. An inefficient and unproven, but highly advised way to sober up is to splash your head with cold water. This can be achieved by for instance sticking your head in a fishbowl (remove the fish first), although it is a known problem for the drunks to have difficulties removing their head from one, and can not get their head out of the fishbowl after the fact, which brings other problems, such as unclear vision, reduced hearing, and drowning. You can also stick your head in a natural resource of water, such as a lake or a river, although this might be made difficult by the large amount of monsters trying to kill you at that time. You can take your head out of the fishbowl now. Probably doesn’t look any different.
Instead of sobering up, another option is to add more ethanol to your system, or in other words, to drink alcohol (if you understood the first part of the sentence, you are in fact not hungover and you may cease reading. Furthermore, we recommend you figure out what the hell is wrong with your system to make you think you should be reading this). Whilst drinking (also known as “hair of the dog”, although one should be warned that shaving and eating the actual hair of an actual dog is frowned upon and can occasionally lead to incarceration) during a hangover will bring unfortunate side effects later on, it will be beneficial in the long term, since these side effects commonly don’t include death by evisceration (legal note: we did say commonly).
If this is not your first hangover, you might at this point be thinking that the monsters you are seeing are in fact hallucinations. It is important to check this, since falsely thinking you are experiencing a solar eclipse and falsely thinking you aren’t experiencing a solar eclipse can have equally disastrous results. Either way, do not go outside to confirm your suspicions. The best way is to send someone else outside. If they die horribly, you are not hallucinating. Continue reading.
Regardless of what you do, don’t listen to your instincts. When you are drunk, your instinct are virtually always wrong (although your logic is more often than not flawed as well at this point). When in doubt, do the opposite of what you think is the right thing to do (unless you think doing the opposite of what you think is the right thing to do is the right thing to do) (if you understood this sentence as well, you are, once again, not drunk. Stop reading already and go see a doctor).
Step 2: Take Up Arms
If you’ve managed to sober up, provided you were able to read up until here, to the point that you are able to perceive what is going on around you, the next step is to find yourself something to fight with. Some common choices are swords, bows, or guns. If you have picked up literal arms (either embodied or disembodied), then you are still hung over and can proceed to continue reading, although you should at this point drop these arms because they are not going to be much use to you. Also worth noting, they may potentially infect you with a pool of numerous diseases. It is strongly advised you discontinue your use of said arms, or other appendages. Do continue to use yours, you'll need those.
If you have chosen to use a sword, there are some things you should know. Swords are, whilst being great defensive and offensive tools, sharp. They can, if used improperly, lethally injure you or those around you. You need to be aware of the danger. Considering how intoxicated you may be, you may not actually perceive pain. Under no circumstances should you do any of the following things:
Use a sword as a utensil for food consumption.
Insert the sword into any orifices, regardless of whether or not it has been lubricated with gel, or sterilized.
Attempt to use the sword without first reading the health and safety information, which can be found on the hilt of the weapon, do not check the blade.
Try to wield the weapon by its blade. This can lead to severe injuries and prevent your hand from doing important processes.
Attempt to fire the sword from a bow or gun. Only use ammo specifically produced for said weapons.
Attempt to scratch any pains onset by sleeping on a rigid surface with your sword.
The sword, whilst making incisions, is not a tool for drawing. Any injuries obtained by naming yourself are not lines drawn by the sword, but rather potentially lethal wounds.
Use the sword to make terrible innuendos to hit on any other people in your building. There will be plenty of time for that after the fact.
Use the sword to dislodge any build ups of nasal substances, in your nose.
If you have chosen to use a gun, you must be extremely careful. While not as dangerous as bows, guns can still be dangerous to not only you but the people around you if used without proper caution. Luckily, they are very easy to use, making the chances of a mishap much less likely. However, it is still important to exercise caution. Speak with your local Arms Dealer if he is nearby to take a short lesson in safe gun use.
Never use a bow. They can be effective tools for killing, but they are extremely dangerous and difficult to use without causing unwanted injury. Even having a bow in your house can be dangerous, as they have been known to explode without warning.
Using throwing knives is allowed, although it’s probable you will succumb to the desire to make a sandwich with them halfway through. Same problem with flamethrowers.
You can use magic books, although it’s unlikely you will be able to differentiate them from each other. Trial and error is both the key and the only option here.
Do not under any circumstances use the Golden Shower, because chances are very high that you simply won’t stop giggling.
If you at any point forget why you are holding a weapon, you are to drop it and look outside. This emergency procedure is effective, if not confused. Do not attempt to do any other procedures whilst holding a weapon, like stop, drop, and roll (if your weapon is on fire you have even more problems). If you can remember why you are resorting to common homicide, then and only then you can take up your weapon again (at the end that isn’t pointy).
Step 3: Identify your enemies.
Now that you are sufficiently prepared to shuffle your enemies of their mortal coils, you must now select which mortal coils are to be shuffled off. The recommended mortal coils are whichever ones that are what they need to survive. If you don’t know which ones those are, simply reach into their bodies with a large spoon and select a mortal coil. You are probably very annoyed that your much-needed rest has been disturbed by these otherworldly beings, and therefore are quite prepared to kill them anyway, but do take substantial effort not to confuse your allies (if applicable, perhaps you said something rude or got into a fight with someone the night before) with your enemies.
There are a number of different enemies you might encounter during a Solar Eclipse, although it’s rather likely they all look the same to you. If this is the case, just start swinging your sword and hope for the best. If you in fact do manage to distinguish your enemies, it’s best to deal with each of them in the most efficient way.
If you see a humanoid pile of goo rushing towards you, then do not worry, it’s not yesterday’s dinner that you have unknowingly evicted from the premises earlier, so to speak. It is in fact what we call a Swamp Thing, which is rather dangerous, so start worrying again. Swamp Things come, as the name might suggest, from the swamp, and therefore contain a lot of bacteria, parasites and the occasional crocodile. To counter this, the best thing to do is throw a lot of alcohol (which you should have aplenty) at them as to kill the microorganisms and get the crocodiles as drunk as you are, so they start confusing allies for enemies as well and become your alternative for summons.
If you see that bouncer that always gives you trouble at one of Party Girl’s parties (perhaps even the night before, if you can still remember so far back), do not exact your bloodcurdling revenge just yet! If it comes closer, you might see a lot of stitches and scars from injuries you are undoubtedly unable to inflict (time to go to the gym, perhaps). Because this hulking ball of muscle for once isn’t a bouncer, but what is called a Frankenstein (or a creature of Frankenstein, to be perfectly pedantic, but considering they are at this point trying to brutally murder you, chances are you don’t really care), thus you can stop trying to bribe him or pretending you’re older than eighteen, it won’t work. [How to defeat a Frankenstein here, I haven’t got a clue ATM].
Electricity? Is lightning a thing? No, it's not. Is it? No.
Magnet Sphere?
If you see a purple haze floating towards you, do not start singing (or kissing), but get to high ground. This entity is know as the Reaper, which say screw you to solid materials like you say screw you to people who suggest that you really had enough to drink for tonight. In fact, just like you need gas like air or a liquid like water (although the latter might be out of the question if you’re too drunk) to move about, Reapers need solids (like dirt) to move about, and can only fly a short distance above them. The best way to combat them is to cling to ceiling fans, lamps or chandeliers (something you practiced intensely the night before, no doubt) and just start swinging your sword downwards. Make sure you have a very high ceiling and a very long sword (remember, no innuendos).
If you see bat flying towards you, then be very careful. These are not the ordinary Cave Bats you have so merrily slaughtered by the hundreds over your adventures. If they come close enough, they will reveal their true form, a sinister, diabolical Vampire (although to you it will probably look like someone who takes fancy dress parties a tad too seriously). Luckily, Vampires have numerous weaknesses, one of them being garlic. If you, in a stroke of inbreviated genius, decided to get a kebab on the way home, then any leftover garlic dressing will function as an excellent repellant. If you forgot to buy any garlic dressing, or drank it all under the impression it was liquor, do not worry, as vampires are also incredibly weak to stakes, which you can use the kebab skewers for, or anything that is pointy for that matter, such as forks, broken bottles and traffic sign poles, which you should have plenty of after a wild night out. If you are doing this and it does not seem to have any effect on the vampires, you are probably throwing steaks, which sadly will not do any serious damage and is also a waste of some perfectly good meat. Eat it instead. It may cure your hangover. Finally, sunlight is lethal to Vampires, so if all else fails you can simply wait until the next morning. Which could be some time, considering it is morning, or night. How the hell can you tell? You’re just focusing on the pounding in your head.
If the Vampire starts to sparkle for whatever reason, then you are to seek a doctor out immediately.
Finally, if you see a zombie coming towards you with an eye instead of a face, then you have encountered an Eyezor. Much like the aforementioned bouncer, the harder you try to get rid of him, the faster he moves and attacks. The other party trick it has up his sleeve is that it can shoot lasers from its eye. These hurt quite a lot and are not a functional way to light your cigarette. The best way to get rid of them is to use the Sandgun to blind it (which will also sting like mad). Considering the size of its eye, you should be able to hit it even if you’re drunk out of your skull..
To conclude this section, I advise that you try to focus on clarity. During this event many things you may not suspect to be dangerous will be so. If at any point you see any creature begin to dance, ask you to marry it, or grow an appendage you are almost guaranteed to not in fact be witnessing that. If these events do happen assume a defensive position. This generally means to get in a stance ready to receive attacks, but the laying on the floor sleeping position may prove more appealing. A good way to stay aware and enhance clarity is self harm. Often pain can be so jarring it may completely increase your perceptive abilities. Depending on how much you've had to drink you may not actually feel pain. If you can not feel minor pain try increasing the velocity. A user even went as far to impale himself with his own sword. This sadly killed him.
Total and Utter Fortification:
It can prove difficulty when under the hindering effects of drunkenness to perform some of these steps. So as our final concluding step we will provide a plan B. Fortification of stead. To begin assess your household and assume priorities. Collect an idea of what items might be worth keeping and what can be used to barricade yourself. Here is a list of what might be blockade worthy items:
- Any and All Naughty Magazines
- Bookshelves
- Tables
- Chairs
- Any possessions of/belonging to the Guide
- The Guide
- Your collection of authentic "School Crush" hair
- A Keybrand
- Explosives
*Do not use windows or doors as items to barricade with*
Place items in front of windows, against exterior walls, and doors.
Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of this image. I've had to reupload the image until I can get a link from the original source. Secondly, I'd like to personally extend my thanks to @AutomatedMiner for not only his patience with me, but this awesome fanart. Now whilst the team has been on a hiatus, we still have plans to continue on with Terraria Absolotus, and find our inner motivation. Thank you to all whom read our last addition, we are having some trouble finding attention for the amount of work we put into this, and hope you guys, our readers, and writing team, can add this little banner to your signature:
Hmm this thread is basically dead but I kindve want to start doing long story's on tcf and maybe I can pm @Teal with any work I might do to see of I can make the cut but it will come later maybe not at all.
Hmm this thread is basically dead but I kindve want to start doing long story's on tcf and maybe I can pm @Teal with any work I might do to see of I can make the cut but it will come later maybe not at all.
So, I have some big news. My extended resignation of the forums will make managing this dying project difficult, as such I pass over my leadership responsibilities solely to @Pixel -- with no offense intended, I doubt much will be done knowing him. So this is pretty much job done.
“You will never know exactly how dangerous making a bowl of soup is without this terrific handbook! Without it, I definitely wouldn’t have been alive today to tell the tale. Recommended for everyone (especially the illiterate)!” - Ramses Gordon
Hello folks, we’re back. Or rather I’m. I am going to resume this project by myself (for now) with a few differences. All the formalities we've taken with the thread in terms of organization are going out the window (down two floors, and onto my neighbor's disgusting cat, unintentional of course). The schedule and rotations are now completely up to me, I’m going to write what I feel like, when I feel like. I may grab a friend or partner to help me every once in awhile, but until this picks up some more steam and it becomes easier to organize that'll be it.
I’m reviving this project because I’ve returned to the forums after my vacation to the virtual jailhouse and I want to help in the effort to breathe life back into the forums and specifically the literature section. Also, we’ve got some competition. @Commander Crocket & co’s team of literature folks have just opened the Terrae Opus and its presence makes me more excited to be reopening these doors. I don't expect to amount to anything near their writing, but I think it'll be interesting to monitor the going ons of both threads. Gotta keep up with the rest to be the best, right? Joking, joking.
Any feedback and commentary is greatly appreciated negative, or not! Especially about that satirical newspaper.
I'd like to thank @XenoCat & @Di for their help. (Di & Xeno - Starfall: Guide to Alchemy | Di - The Fallen Star Bestiary)
These nachos are delectable. Sweet from the shrimp and savory from the bacon intertwine to make the ultimate topping. Making the nachos is by far the most difficult step, but with careful observation it'll be a breeze. From then on smooth sailing ensures. The appetizer itself is light and easy to eat, but still maintains substance from the delicious toppings.
The first step is making the dough for the nachos, this will be the most difficult and longest part of the process. Collect as many buds as possible from the Blinkroot florets. You’ll want to wash and rinse them thoroughly and then roast over a fire for no longer than 1 minute. After you’ve done this, retrieve your Fireblossom, a necessary catalyst for making the flour, and split one side of the stem as to open it. A pasty watery gel should then be extracted from the stem, very cautiously, and put in a non-corrosive pot. Add both the buds and 3 cups of water. Let boil for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally,
Whilst your dough is boiling you can now begin to prepare the other components. Take the head of your Fireblossom, optionally, and cut off the center (pistil). This should be a much brighter red with a glow that distinguishes it from the petals and stem. Separate from both and dice well. Set aside dependent on the amount of heat you want in your nachos. Firstly cook your bacon, no need to lubricate the pan, flip and stir until crispy. Remove, do not clean pan. Begin to sauté the shrimp until cooked, mixing in the optional Fireblossom spice. The oils and fat from the bacon allow a good surface for the shrimp to cook on. To do this simply lubricate your pan and heat to medium heat. Slap a few shrimp on and wait until they become opaque and that desirable fleshy pink color and turn off your pan. Remember to take your dough off after 5 minutes.
Now is just a matter of finishing the nachos. Let the boiled buds sit for at least two hours before continuing. Rinse the buds under cold water and using a grinder/mortar and pestle grind into a fine powder. Add in whatever fats from the bacon you can find, the cream, and an ounce of water. Whip until it has a batter like consistency and then drop into pan to fry. Fry until the crispness desired is met and break into pieces. Plate and add your toppings.
Reviews:
“You can create worm bait with…”/5: [The Guide]
<< One you have wooden sword, you might try to gather some gel from the slimes. Combine wood and gel to make a torch! >> (*Ahem* We thank the guide for his very useful commentary)
3/5: [Lost Girl]
<< This dish is too hard to make, I’d rather just eat cookies. I was a Girl Scout once and we had so many cookies! Why don't you come scouting with me and we’ll eat our own special cookies. >> (It is with heavy heart we announce our interviewer never returned from his scouting adventure. Rest in many pieces, assuredly.)
STARFALL • Guide to Alchemy • Add. 02
Various Contributors
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Hello, all, welcome to the Starfall Guide to General Alchemy.
This entry details a herbal reagent and plant local to the Corruption region; the Deathweed.
Reagent: Deathweed
Made by XenoCat
Edited and attributed to by Teal
Deathweed, a plant finding itself within that of a corrupted habitat, is a withered flower with long draping bells. It can exclusively be found on impure grass and stone. It's perennial behavior means that it can only bloom on the nights of a Full Moon, or a Blood Moon, harvesting beforehand without a Staff of Regrowth will yield nothing. It has potent use to alchemists in a variety of potions, including, but not limited to, Wrath Potions, Thorns Potions, Gravitation Potions, and Battle Potions. It is also quite malodorous, and is a necessary ingredient in Stink Potions. It is a somewhat rare flower to come across, and is best grown in a farm.
When pollinated and ready for seed dispersal the herb will emit a distinct glow making its presence an easier spot to those looking. The seed is also quite toxic and is lethal if consumed without proper catalysts. The yield can range from 1-3 seeds. The seeds need not be ground as the flesh around the inner core of the seed dissolves in acidity of even minor degree; acidity a common trait in most catalyst reagents.
Anthropological Findings: Moonglow
Made by Di
Deathweed was originally attributed to spiritually cursed areas by prehistoric peoples, and many fossils of cavemen and animals were unearthed that wandered into the area and mistook the deadly herb for edible vegetation. It was not fully utilized until much later in history, when alchemists fully discovered its different effects based on dosage. Since then, it is often used in very light doses as a sedative, and larger doses are an effective and fast acting lethal poison.
Some time after this, extensive testing proved that combining the herb with others can lead to different, more useful effects. These effects can range from enraging nearby sentient entities, from enhancing the imbiber’s physical and magical attributes, to even disrupting the very world’s natural order. It has also been noted to smell extremely bad, but those using it for pranks are encouraged to be careful due to the deadly effects it can have when ingested.
Lore & Associated Culture: Deathweed
Made by Teal
Due to Deathweed’s prior-mentioned perennial behavior many associations with mystery, darkness, evil, and even wickedness have been made. At first the seasonally blooming activity would seem normal for any herb, but the correlation between blood/full moons and this plant has often aroused superstition. Many within the scientific community suspect logical reasonings for the plant’s odd schedule. Bacterial colonies responding to the light changes, fluctuations in air moisture caused by tide change, higher visibility of bright red petals for pollinators, and the like.
Locals? No, they have a different story. Claims that extend as far to say that Deathweed was crafted by the Moonlord himself to aid his tide of enemies. Affecting both villagers and monsters of the night. Anthropological studies revealed a specific correlation between human behavior and the Blood Moon/Deathweed. This has implied an even deeper relation between such events. More conclusions can be drawn off of Antrhopological Findings.
•
•
The Bureaucratic Academic Lamprophonic Literary Statement of TCF
The B.A.L.L.S. of TCF is a series of columns written by the peers of the B.A.L.L.S. of TCF group. This edition will be the first of many to surface in the upcoming days of its creation. Please enjoy.
Ihaghv McFallen-In a recent study a new trend within the TCF community has been discovered. Outsiders and many passing by on a glimpse have been deeply puzzled by it, and consequently never visited the site again. One visitor, reportedly, went to the length of inventing eyebleach, patenting it, and then dousing his irises, just to cleanse the sight from his eyes. Allegedly, members of the online community have adapted their “avatars & original characters” to have cat ears and other feline traits. The trend has also had ties to a large disappearance of Fancy Feast cat food. The source of the stolen cat food remains at large, and undoubtedly smelly.
In past days momentous debate about what “TCF” actually stands for has occurred, from all appearances no one can actually tell what the site was originally for. Many have moved to rename the community to such things as “Undertale Community Forums,” “Just XenoCat,” “Site for reposting things most people have already said,” “Punderstated Use of Puns,” “W.W.S.I.D.N.-Who Will Say It’s Dead Next?” and finally "If Reddit had its own version of 4Chan.” Whilst all these names have a following none have quite taken.
In related news a lethal plague(rion) has swept through the TCF valley. Members are claiming the forums are dying more rapidly than 505 has to bug fix mobile. One “Matsu,” a moderator of the community, has been quite publicly disgruntled by the claims. A source states that Matsu is so triggered that he may implode decimating all in sight, and undoubtedly cancelling T:Otherworld. To combat the claims he decided to use a different method than he first originally planned, copypasta-ing an image with information about the supposed death. His original plan involved paper, lemons, and a fully operable harpoon.
That's all for now, more next installment with the undoubted arrival of new memes, new trends, and new details.
Pheww…. It's been a long, unending time. The Fallen Star Bestiary is back baby, the first time on its new thread. Of course for the new thread warming surprise the Bestiary was kind enough to make an extra special gift, and in time for Christmas. The first edition, in the history of The Fallen Star Bestiary to ever cover an invasion and humanoids. Martian Madness is not known for being a Silent Night after all. *ba dum-baseball bat to the head for that pun*
MARTIANS
Entry 9; Martians:
“Martian(s)” is a racial term describing beings inhabiting, what is believed to be, a foreign realm or planet. The beings are allegedly recently discovered in what has been Iabled the “Martian Madness Invasion.” Each recorded event starts with a Martian Probe, an apparently robotic drone with detection AI, that if escapes sends an invasion en route. They are believed to be highly intellectual and have a brain capacity to rival even that of a human’s. This combined with their prosthetic strength, weapons, and abundance, makes them a difficult foe. They come in many varieties and the concluding blow of the attack is a large vehicular object capable of flight, a spaceship, if you will.
Martians possess a great amount of highly advanced technology, which has proved to be massively destructive to those caught unprepared. Most of this is assumedly energy based weaponry, although tall walking constructs are seen commonly, and a large flying vehicle armed with fast firing energy turrets, homing rockets, and a massive sweeping laser beam is usually seen leading the attack. They also possess large alien beast-like creatures that act as mounts to certain individuals.
They walk in a bipedalistic manner, easily likened to that of a human. Martians are noted for their small, gray bodies that sport unusually large heads. The notation of the anatomy is made from the most easily observable Martians, the lowerclass. They are the most exposed, revealing both general shape and color. They come in a wide variety of ranks and specialties, from engineers to cannon fodder. These different classes are most easily identified by the coloration of the suit they wear.
Locating and Tracking:
After the Martian Probe is deployed and retrieved the Martian Invasion will converge and ensue rather quickly. If the Invasion is unwanted, meaning a pass on the opportunity to observe and study a little known race, you can destroy the Martian Probe. Therein lies the difficulty.
It is believed, from basic deciphering, that the Martian Probe will not begin a sweep near the center of the world in order to preserve any covert advantages it may hide. Additionally, we have come to the conclusion that something about Golem’s technology may interfere with its systems or pose too much of a thread to an invasion to warrant a planet search. Monitoring has revealed they are most common in space altitudes of Terraria.
Habitat and Alimentation:
Due to the extraterrestrial nature of Martians we can assume little about their environment or eating patterns. Captive Drone deciphering has revealed the least about this subject. However, from the ciphering we have determined they at least come from a region called Mars, hence the name Martians. Forensic analysis of corpses and other organic/inorganic evidences has led us to some assumptions. On their apparel traces of sand and dust, both heavily abundant with iron. The oxidation of the iron content is assumedly the cause of the sand’s red hue. The sand, when isolated, has no evidence of organic composition. Fabric used in some of the Martian Constructs has also been obtained. Although it's altered to receive heavy resistance against temperature and wear, patterns of wear have been found consistent with an extremely cold climate and indentation caused by heavy particle contact, wind presumably.
Studies conducted on the metals and other resources used by the Martians reveals their equipment to primarily consist of an alloy of Titanium and an unidentified material. This alloy is astonishingly sturdy and lightweight, making it clear why they make use of it. Batteries and other power sources recovered from debris show to be capable of storing and outputting a great amount of energy, and a power core recovered from a destroyed Saucer appears to have been capable of producing immense amounts of energy using a fuel that has yet to be identified. Dense crystals not unlike diamond appear to be used to focus this energy into the deadly beams produced by the majority of the Martian’s weapons.
Combat:
Martians use correlating tactics to strategically attack. Ground units, placing turrets at guessed intervals, preferring to attack horizontally by dashing, followed by melee. Coupled with the aerial Martian Drones and stilted Walker lasers from varying heights it quickly becomes a onslaught. Taking out and targeting projectile firing units first, whilst managing turrets, seems to be an effective crowd control method.
Building a small shelter, built with just enough room to house the player can also be a decent play. You may hide in these shelters to recover health, gain a strategic advantage by filtering in enemies, or just to block attacks. It is even effective against the larger saucer. This is particularly advantageous if you've minions that can work for you outside of your mini-shelter.
Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios
Hello, adventurer! You have most undoubtedly picked up this book in an attempt to jumpstart your career. I, over the course of many successful years of adventuring, have encountered many unexpected events. That is why I present to you this guide, Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios. I will tutor you, throughout the endurance of your reading. May this book aid you in your endeavors, for it has done so for many others, as shown below. I can recollect countless times in battles where I've retrieved my own guide to cite specific information, conveniently organized in the table of contents, to help me.
TESTIMONIALS:
“If it wasn't for this guide I'd never reached my dream of being the first helicopter to sword fight” - Apache Attack Helicopter (Died doing what he loved, soaring over the il field)
“Did I really need to use my intestines for fishing line?” - John
In this entry of "Kazzy's Survival Guide for Incredibly Unpredictable and Unlikely Scenarios" Kazzymodus will guide you practically by hand on the how to’s of sword cleaning and maintenance. A clean blade is a sharp one.
Preparations:
To begin, select the proper blade for cleaning. If you’re blade has a barrel, a trigger, and requires ammunition you may, or may not, being doing something wrong. To check simply aim the barrel upwards towards your face and squeeze the trigger back. If you can still blink afterwards you've selected a blade successfully. Using an abrasive rag spot clean the blade, next switching to a soft cloth. Use the soft cloth to clean the sharp thin edge of the blade. If a cloth cannot be found use the nearest villager’s clothing or personal belongings. If you find any irremovable rust just easily lick it right off.
Step 1: Gather sharpening tools (your teeth will suffice)
It is recommended to find adequate rocks by a stream or body of water. Avoid goldfish at all costs as they are apex predators capable of devouring all they come into contact with. You want both a rigid rock resembling a file, and pumice-like, sponge resembling, stone. Decide which of the stones you prefer. The sponge like stone makes a great bath tool in addition.
After you’ve selected take your sword and firmly grip. Resist any urge to make a joke. Forcefully strike the sword against the selected stone cracking it in half. Then take the other stone and hit one of the halves with its most weight. Detach your blade from its hilt and dispose of it safely. Now select the sharpest piece of stone you can find and lodge it in your hilt securing with a cobweb and gel mixture. You've now sharpened your blade.
Step 2: Temper and Cement Blade
Fill a shallow pool with lava disposing of anything that will snag causing hazard. This includes your clothing, armaments, the bucket itself, any crucial items, and most appendages. If you’re house is in proximity to the pool go ahead and disassemble it and toss it in the lava. Toss the blade in the pool carelessly and enjoy the show. Now you must exercise patience and wait for about 2 minute for the blade to temper.
After two minutes have occurred simply dip your hand in the lava to retrieve the weapon. If you have difficulty finding it go right ahead and submerge yourself and begin to look for it. Don't forget your Diving Gear and Breathing Reed!
The easiest way to remove the lava from being hazardous is to relocate it. Dig a hole directly under it from the side about 4 blocks deep. Then just dig straight up, standing directly underneath.
Step 3: Take Precautions
Do not, under any circumstances, do the following:
-Use your sword as a weapon, it is very sharp and has a tendency to do serious and even lethal damage. You may hurt yourself or anything else.
-Make loud noise near the sword, it may cause the sword to either spontaneously combust engulfing your Nurse, or give you an ouchie.
-Move your blade. It can become prone to sentience and seek vengeance against its creator.
-Watch Teen Titans Go. That is poison.
-Attempt to pry with your sword. It's made of metal.
-Will it blend? No it will not.
-Apply salt to the weapon at any time, it turns an undesirable shade of blue similar to cyan.
SHORT STORIES
These are just some misc stories I wrote to give it more content, got just the one this time around. Sorry.
It was cold, every flake of snow an agent of the ice, freezing all in sight. Hampered breath, the sound of a man fighting against the gathering forces of snow. A wet, long cough. The scarcely lit torches barely created a shelter against the darkness. The man shuffled across the room, every step a traipse. He groaned as he lifted up the lid to a wooden splintered chest. He needs it, no, nay, she does. She'd be back soon, and she'd need a health potion for a recovery. It was too cold, and he had suffered too. Was he to take the potion? Was he to be the humble man and the good Samaritan, loyal even? His lips quivered from the urge to just swallow down the bottle and recover the health that would ease his pain, at least for a while.
Then, the sound ringing down the stairs and
radiating his already shaking bones. Glass, yes, he was sure of it. Glass. Glass breaking and falling onto the wooden floor. There was only so much he could do to defend himself now. Regret swelled in his bosom, should he have truly lent his armor, his defense, to a woman he hardly knew? A chilled whisper, a crackling sound of ice snapping against itself, wind circling, all growing closer. He rummaged yet again through the chest, yes! Eureka!
The familiar feeling of the blue sword in his hand, Cobalt, a hardy and trusty metal. His only defense was a bucket, and that of the sword. The Ice Elemental, a wicked construct of the cold, glided down the stairs like a breeze traveling on the wind. Haha! Strike, after strike, after strike, he would win. Yes, he would. But of course the feeling was lost in adrenaline, he hadn't noticed being so busy when he slew the beast. The rippling pain was gradual, and he then knew. A bolt of razor sharp ice had penetrated his chest, he faltered and fell to both knees. Breathing led to gasping, gasping led to wheezing, there would not be much time left.
But, oh, oh-oh-o' oh oh, he could see her now. The beauty whom had found him sheltered amongst the snow in the first place. He could see her, triumphantly charging to his aid. She assessed, realizing how grave the injuries were. Scampered to the chest. Grabbed the potion. But as she pressed the bottle to his lips and he could feel yet again the relief melted away, quite unlike the snow. A towering behemoth stood before the door, unto both of them. Two blue beams of icy laser pulsed through her chest and she fell to the ground. The colossal Ice Golem entered the humble house and stood there, beating the poor woman. Was the man scared? No, he was not. Why? He had found warmth. A little red candle, with a long brown wick that sparked when he lit it. The spark winded down the stem and the whole house was filled with warmth, images of time forgotten, and happiness, one last time.
I'm going to tag all the folks subscribed to the Bestiary and those who expressed interest in the writing. (Plus @Cryx@excession & @TheBezixx because they're my baes)
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
it.
