Humorous Bad Puns and Dad Jokes

[Erienna Nakagai]

I just came up with these, and it holds relevant because the update just came out.
These octopus zombies in the new PvZ 2 update really suck. They give me 8 times the trouble.
The fisherman zombies also are a reel pain.

 

[Dakota Spine]

Two fish are swimming in a river, and they hit a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam."

 

[zimberzimber]

3 come in bar.
Bar died.


It works a lot better in ma language

 

[suu]

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor said?

He said "DON'T GO TO THOSE PLACES!" *ba dum tis*

 

[Mocha]

I went back from diving school and got my report card. They were all below C level.

 

[Dakota Spine]

How do you kill a blonde?

There are many ways. All of which are illegal.

 

[Pixel]

My left arm, leg, and even ear were cut off. The doctor said that I'm "all right."

 

[Bonabopn]

My left arm, leg, and even ear were cut off. The doctor said that I'm "all right."

Reminds me of this c:

 

[Jeromy]

I use to be a werewolf, but I'm ok now-oooooooooo!

From Earnest (goes to camp, in the army,ect...)
Did ya hear the one about the three-legged dog that went into a saloon? He came in and said "Who shot my pa(w)?"

 

[MasterLuigi452]

One of the golden pun on Youtube that I found on Game Grumps channel...

Why does Donkey Kong always brush his teeth?

To prevent tooth DK

 

[Dakota Spine]

Also from Game Grumps.

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear?"

"Denim denim denim." To the Mario Underground theme of course!

 

[Nev]

I just spilled my vodka all over my shirt. I think I have a drinking problem.

Also, you people better hope Stephan Pastis isn't a member here.

 

[Folder]

What did the Beaver say when he saw a Dam being Constructed on His River?
God Dam-mit

 

[AverageTerrarian]

Your such a-ddic...




...ted

 

[CraftmasterMatt]

My dad once said that vines grow upwards because they're "di-vine."

Also, he told me something that I said when I was younger: "I want monsters to have to check under the bed for me, for a change!"

 

[Skeltron's Keeper]

Ok so you have a naked woman and a pole what do you get...a woman and a pole!

 

[Skeltron's Keeper]

The answer's actually your mom.

I thought tou were better than that..( but that was pretty funny)

 

[Luke Oliveem]

"To you, who stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I'll find you, and make you pay. You have my Word"
Oh god that was terrible.

 

[Happylike]

Its so hard to explain puns to kleptomans, they take everything, literally.
What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh. (it makes more sense when you say it)

 

[Luke Oliveem]

"I'm glad I know sign language. It's pretty handy"