The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

Announcement time before we start, i've decided to spare everyone the time, and me the pain because it keeps giving me plenty of troubles, by deciding to stop using colored text every update, colored text may reappear again though at a future time. The radio and certain characters will probably keep their colored text though.


~~~~Radio~~~~
Now Playing: Muse - Uprising

~~~~The Undying Ultimate Chimera (@Mr. Fury the Bootleg)~~~~
HP: 906/1,000 LVL: 666
Current Location: ???: Paranoia Plains: Fading Town
[FEVERISH]


The ultimate chimera absolutely desolates the statue and any respect it might have had by the shades of this town
A tall looking shade approaches
Shade: Oh uhh, you can’t do that, that’s a statue of the great foreman pyro you uncultured swine, I'm afraid i’m going to have to report you.
How do you respond?


~~~~Amenhotep (@TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6)~~~~
HP: 50/50 LVL 1
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Roadside
UPDATE 14/25 until AFK Farmable


Amenhotep tries to be sneaky, but steps on a treebranch
Treebanch: OH GOD, OH :red:, HELP! HOLY CRAP, A FURRY! HEEEEEEEELP! SNAP!
A skeleton in a purple and pinkish weird suit appears to yell “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” To amenhotep as he struggles to drop the treebranch, as quickly as he appears though, he vanishes.
The noise of stone moving is heard as the angered catparition slowly turns towards amenhotep and screeches, the shadowy cat tosses a stretched shadowy claw swipe which amenhotep manages to dodge, but unfortunately it won’t let him escape so easily…
The Catparition draws near!

Amenhotep flees the scene again and manages to get away this time!

After about an hour of dashing through the overgrowth, he hears classical music… as he continues walking down the road he finds a vampire drinking wine by a fireplace in the middle of the forest, sitting on a couch in the middle of the road.
Alfred: So…. You’re the one i’ve heard about, you’ve been all around asking about phaedra right? Are you a friend of his…?


~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/271 LVL 4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City


Mika: No clue, But if you could, i’m sure there are some ways you could meet with death, then you could ask him why he spared you the fate of becoming snow…. I guess...

~~~~The Somewhat “Nice” Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 455/455 LVL: 5
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 240/240 LVL: 5
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 240/240 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
Asmodeus: ???/???
Slogra: 800/800
Herex: 450/450
Xiyel: 250/250

Herex scoffs at Garruns perfectly logical reasoning, ready to fight more, he charges up the ladder
Slogra: NO WAIT! GAAAAAH FECKIN TROGLEDYTE!
Asmodeus, annoyed that Herex just charged up to the surface, gets close to the ladder, if herex is already up there, then it’s time to move..
Asmodeus: Alright, brace yourselves everyone, for we might have plenty of fight left up above…

The group head up the ladder and are in front of a large city hall-like building.
As the group pop up they find herex ripping and tearing an army of paladins…. Jesus
Herex: ALRIGHT YOU PALADIN SCUM, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS NEXT FOR GETTING BEHEADED IN TOWN SQUARE THIS FINE DAY!

The ground rumbles as a large worm-like armored vehicle with bladed treads leaps through a nearby building, scattering barrels of gunpowder all across the square, the tank lands in front of the city hall-like area
A voice from inside the tank yells out with a hint of fear
???: Y- You shall go no further fiends! You stand before the great and mighty Aluke! One of the two Paladin Generals!
A Landwyrm being piloted by Aluke draws near!
As the group assess the situation, they notice the following around the battlefield:
Many buildings around, it seems like the landwyrm can easily smash into them and cause even more rubble…
Many, many barrels of gunpowder all over the place.


~~~~Traumatized Certified Minecrafter Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 301/330 LVL: 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@Defure)~~~~
HP: 210/230 LVL: 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields


Xmax did not pick a perk, therefore greyton skips his perk this turn.
Fred is unsure of what to do
So what now?


~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 205/330
Head HP: 250/300 LVL 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard: 13th Street North Entrance
~~~Party Member: Clockwerk~~~
HP: 555/600 LVL 4


Tingler points to large fries
Falon: Alright sir that will be 99.99 DT.
Tingler opens his wallet, tears shoot out of it like a firehose.
Falon: We deal in tears in this establishment sir.
.
.
.
.
.
Tingler has been pointing to the large fries for a month in mcdonalds time
Falon: Sorry sir, i just realize, these are real fake tears from your wallet, yeah sorry about that, since you still don’t have money-
Tingler tries to show him his little bit of mone-
Falon: I SAID YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY! BEGONE!
Tingler is shot several times out of a cannon, hitting 80 walls until he is finally shot out of the front door of the mcdonalds, so where to now?


~~~~Fedora Ron (@Matthus)~~~~
HP: 130/130 LVL 2
Current Location: Hell: The City of Brimstone.


Ron leaves the smithery and goes to the drugs
Drug Demon: Heh, i’ve got the best stuff in the underworld, pick yer poison…

[20 DT] Experiment 89: Lilith said that she was developing this stuff for when her raves got a little too wild. I dunno what it does, time for a taste test?
[200 DT] SCP-420-J: MMMM Dats sum good :red: :red:.
[130 DT] Lesser Sin Gel: Shhh, don’t tell anyone about this but uhh, this stuff is pretty illegal…. Everywhere, A recreational drug that has a lesser helldemon's infernal blood as an ingredient. Applying it to oneself can make them feel confidant. It grants Haste, but makes you take 50% more damage. It is addictive…
[240 DT] True Sin Gel: A strong drug that has a true helldemon's infernal blood as an ingredient. Applying it to oneself can make them feel incredibly confident in their abilities. It grants Triple Haste(3 actions in 1 turn), but makes you take 100% more damage. It is very addictive, also very illegal.
[370 DT] Devil Sin Gel: Sin Gel that has a contract devil's infernal blood as an ingredient. Applying it to oneself can make them feel recklessly confident in their abilities. It grants Quadruple Haste(4 actions in 1 turn), but makes you take 150% more damage. It is incredibly addictive, also incredibly illegal.
[500 DT]: Demon God Sin Gel: Rarely, when a demon god arrives, and is defeated in combat, they give samples of their blood to the undead who defeated them and quickly leave. Applying it to oneself can make them feel suicidally confident in their abilities. It grants Quintuple Haste(5 Actions in 1 turn), but makes you take 200% more damage. Even being found having this drug is basically a sentence to getting reaped.


~~~~Meta (@Meta Knight_but_Terraria)~~~~
HP: 230/230 LVL 1
Current Location: The Pumpkin Yard: Vessel 89-445: Robot Research Room
~~~And~~~
~~~~Field Guard~~~~
HP: 300/300


Meta looks around at the other broken robots and manages to find not just one good wire, but several good wires!
Got the fistful of good wires!
Meta takes said wires over to the broken field guard and commences repairs, it looks like it worked! The field guard is activated and it scans Meta and identifies him as a passenger on this vessel, it seems like it will follow and protect you now!
I guess it’s time to head through one of the doors you haven’t been through now?
(And do you wish to name your field guard?)
 
“Hey, just so you guys know, I probably could perform a bit of an archery miracle. Don’t ask me how, there’s a reason it’s a miracle, but I could probably leave it more open to attacks for you guys. Just say the word.”

*Garrun proceeds to watch for any incoming attacks.*
 
I name my Field Guard Ox. I go back into the hall, going towards the next door on the right, when a voice in my head yells at me to go to the left instead. It's accompanied by a hallucination of a man in a theatre mask and a suit. (This starts a fight without the Field Guard.)
 
Y~ . . . Wait, who the hell, and I am talking literally, on this desolated wasteland that only has claws, teeth, webs and freaking screeching tree branches for me, are you and why are you asking me this so outrightly?
He was not in the best of moods, after being harassed by being a furry, and almost being sliced'n'diced by the cat-thing
 
"Alright, I'm going to be honest, after all that fighting, I've forgotten why we came here." Greyton says looking down.
 
The ultimate chimera looks at the tall shade... and says...
What did you just :red:ing say about me, you milksop? I'll deface whatever statues I damn well feel like, and your sissy leader is going to have to deal with that fact.
He then proceeds to paint the " Foreman Pete's Number 1 Bootlicker " using a particularly disgusting shade of brown onto the offending shade, as well as a ridiculous amount of boots that look shiny from all that bootlicking.

From now on, you shall be known as the doormat.

(inb4 I get a Vandal title or something)

(Edit: I know I keep getting Foreman Pyro's name wrong, but I'm gonna keep it that way for the sake of a joke)
 
Last edited:
"Watch it, you idiot!"
Phaedra signals the group to the barrels of gunpowder and advises them to wait.
Phaedra lines up and sends a bullet at the landwyrm, probing to see its behavior in response to aggression.
 
~~~~Radio~~~~
Now Playing: Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode

~~~~The Undying Vandal Named The Ultimate Chimera (@Mr. Fury the Bootleg)~~~~
HP: 906/1,000 LVL: 666
Current Location: ???: Paranoia Plains: Fading Town
[FEVERISH]


NEW TITLE ACQUIRED! CHECK OUT YOUR NAME FELLA!
The shade that is now known as Doormat: Uhhh, sorry fella, but that isn’t my name, i’m afraid i’ll have to report you into the proper authorities by force…
Doormat attacks!


Ultimate Chimera: 906/1,000
VS
Doormat: 70/70

~~~~Amenhotep (@TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6)~~~~
HP: 50/50 LVL 1
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Roadside
UPDATE 15/25 until AFK Farmable


Alfred: Who am i is not that important, what IS important is why you seek out this man? I’ve noticed you’re trying so very, very hard to find him, you’ve traveled a great distance, even tried to make deals with demons, Am i right?
So what IS your purpose for that?

~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/271 LVL 4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City


Mika: When a person dies, their soul comes to the land of the dead, they will most of the time be reincarnated, but sometimes their souls won’t, and will instead be made into an ice-like substance, which eventually becomes a snow-like substance, the region far to the north, the frozen edge, is made with these people.

~~~~The Somewhat “Nice” Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 455/455 LVL: 5
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 240/240 LVL: 5
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 240/240 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Alexandria Sewers
~~~And~~~
Asmodeus: ???/???
Slogra: 800/800
Herex: 450/450
Xiyel: 250/250


Phaedra: 455/455 [BOUNCE]
Dollie: 240/240 [BOUNCE]
Garrun: 210/210 240/240 [BOUNCE]
Asmodeus: ???/??? [BOUNCE]
Slogra: 800/800 [BOUNCE]
Herex: 450/450 [BOUNCE]
Xiyel: 250/250 [BOUNCE]
VS
Landwyrm: 2,000/2,000
General Aluke: 100/100 [INSIDE LANDWYRM]

General Aluke: Gah, how the hell do you pilot these things?! Normally it’s the engineers using ‘em…
Garrun braces himself to watch for attacks, but…
Dollie hugs the landwyrm
Aluke: AH :red:, CREEPY DOLL GHOST, GET AWAY FROM MY COCKPIT WINDOWS YOU POLTERGEISTIC ANNABELLE WANNABE!
The Landwyrm thrashes around violently trying to get dollie away, dollie is flung into garrun, who VERY MUCH didn’t foresee that coming, the Thrashing hit no one, this caused it to waste it’s turn.

The Gunpowder barrels roll around the arena, many of them moved closer towards the party, a few slightly close to the landwyrm, many of them on the right side of the area.
Phaedra fires his gun towards the landwyrm, which aluke is still struggling to drive after that dollie freakout situation, the bullet bounces right off, seems it’s armor is bulletproof…
Herex: ALRIGHT LISTEN HERE PALADIN GENERAL! TODAY IS THE DAY THAT HEREX PULVERIZES YO-
The Landwyrm lifts itself up and crushes Herex
HEREX IS SLAIN!
Asmodeus: Gah, you’re really going to make me have to do this aren’t you…
Slogra: Master Asmodeus, he isn’t worth it, don-
Asmodeus glows as time rewinds, Herex is no longer dead
Herex: ALRIGHT LISTEN HERE PALA-
Slogra: DON’T YOU FECKIN DARE
Herex: Hmm? What’s wrong?
Xiyel: You already just got crushed by that thing rushing in head first, Master Asmodeus can’t keep messing with time for too long, after the war, he had rewinded time to save so many lesser revenants and civilians, that he can only do it a few more times safely because…
Asmodeus: Time demons sacrifice years of their own lives to go back mere minutes just to correct things, i dunno how many years i have left, but rewinding now causes great pain for hours… So herex, i saved you once, if you recklessly get smashed again, i cannot save you again…
Slogra casts Bounce!
A reflective shield has been added to the party!
Xiyel pulls out a Scanner
Xiyel: It’s a Paladin Landwyrm, a large worm-like tank that is all terrain.
From what i gather they require a lot of knowledge to drive, Aluke has none of that…
Max HP is 2,000, it’s Attack power is 50, and it has 500 Defense, it’s armored to the core so Bullets,Melee,Arrows,Bolts and fire will do complete nothing to it, it has a weakness to heavily rusting from water, and i’ve heard that large amounts of ice can tear it apart from the inside, they seem to be super vulnerable to explosives..
A competent pilot of one of these things can thrash around with it, bulldoze with it and even fire wildly with mortar strikes, thank Death we are dealing with Aluke instead of a competent Paladin Engineer or something...

~~~~Traumatized Certified Minecrafter Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 301/330 LVL: 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@Defure)~~~~
HP: 210/230 LVL: 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields


The two decide on what to tell mario back at grimwich city, they decide on exactly what to say and head off to say it probably… But will they get sidetracked? The short answer? Yes
As the two are about to leave the pumpkin year, a door opens up on the grassy ground and the duo fall right in… Oh goodie…
The door closes and it seems that these two are in some sorta weird research base, what the hell? There is a nearby doorway, and it seems a lot of trashed robots in this room…
What now?

~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 205/330
Head HP: 250/300 LVL 4
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard: 13th Street Court house
~~~Party Member: Clockwerk~~~
HP: 555/600 LVL 4
Tingler seeks out a law firm, and finds Lecarde L’awyerson, top quality lawyer…


Tingler, Clockwerk and Lecarde L’awyerson sit in a courtroom. A lost soul sits in a large chair with a war hammer for a mallet, this is Judge joe pain, the only judge.
Falon from mcdonalds appears, his lawyer is ronald mcdonald.
Judge Joe Pain: Court is now in session. Now i ain’t normally a judge, i’m normally an executioner so let’s make this quick so i know which one of you two is getting the axe tonight…
Lecarde: Your honor, let me start this off my saying that my client, tingler, was horribly mistreated and wronged by this mcdonalds employee, i have here the documents, which clearly state-
Ronald Mcdonald: Objection your honor, those documents are outdated. They haven’t been in use since the late proterozoic era…
Lecarde sits down, nervously sweating
Lecarde whispers to tingler “I don’t think i can do this, the documents are outdated?! My documents are NEVER Outdated!"
Clockwerk: STAHP! NO!
He is still set to scientist…
Judge Joe Pain is seen reading a judgeing book, it judges him.
Judge Joe Pain: Alright Mr. Dingler-
A revenant police officer whispers to the judge
Judge Joe Pain: Tingler, please tell the court your side of the story, what happened when you went into that mcdonalds? And please make it quick, your lawyer is hyperventilating while staring at the outdated documents...

~~~~Fedora Ron (@Matthus)~~~~
HP: 130/130 LVL 2
Current Location: Hell: The City of Brimstone.


Fedora Ron purchases SCP-420-J from the demon for 200 DT
Drug Demon: Pleasure doing business with ya friend!
The demon disappears.

~~~~Meta (@Meta Knight_but_Terraria)~~~~
HP: 230/230 LVL 1
Current Location: The Pumpkin Yard: Vessel 89-445: Robot Research Room
~~~And~~~
~~~~Ox~~~~
HP: 300/300


Meta goes to head into a door, when a voice calls out
Voice: No, the left door.
Meta turns around to see a figure in a theater mask, it attacks!
Hallucination draws near! It strikes first!
The hallucination did something mysterious! It didn’t work on Meta!
The loud noise of something falling can be heard in the room meta was previously in.
 
"We can worry about the room later, we need to- Ox?" *ox is traveling into the room* "I knew that robot wasn't trustworthy..." *I attack the hallucination with the LB, uncharged*
 
"Alright, I have a lot of question, but first how did I even fall?!" Greyton exclaims. He then starts going over to some of the robots to see if he can find anything of use.
"Hey Fred, you know a bit about... mechanical things help me out."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom