Commander Crocket

Was having an argument with my wife yesterday. Just as I was about to win the argument, my alarm clock went off.

Oh Commander Cocket
The name we use to mock
A man who has a hairstyle
That smells like Harambe’s sock
He’s got an Afro on his
The size of the Arcturus star
And facial wise looks like
He’s been run over by a car
A scientist through and through
But he’s always at the bar til ten
Cos every time he steps in the lab
He blows it up again

At the workplace, the golden rule for men should be "Do not say anything to a woman that you wouldn’t want to hear from a guy in prison."

@RainbowDrago I FOUND OUT CROCKET’S TRUE IDENTITY AT LAST https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5pfNuYfmA7c

Doing nothing all day is great. Actually realising that you've done nothing all day, on the other hand... is not so great.

Crocket should be the new voice actor for Jotaro with how much he says "Good grief" when we play together

Why is it that people who bark the loudest about demanding respect are the ones that have done the least to earn it?

You know, with how much @[279Nev] drinks, for once, I'd like to see him get kicked into a bar.

Can somebody remind me what the name of the boomerang-like weapon you get from Presents in Terraria during the Christmas event was?

One of the biggest differences between men and women is what comes to their minds when the word "Facial" is used.

Woke up this morning to find that my alarm clock was laughing at me. Then I realized that I had it upside down, and that the time was 7:07.

crocket is mean to me in terraria ))))):

The reviews for the film telling the story behind the cult classic The Room, The Disaster Artist, are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.

When I was a kid, I figured out how to play the piano by ear, though after a while, I learned that it was much easier to use my fingers.

Mothers, please don't tell your little girls "He's only being mean because he likes you", and then wonder why they grow up & marry s.

Greetings, Commander Crocs. How's your life been treating you?

You know it's sad when a mall in Alabama can keep a creepy pervert out, but the US Senate can't.

Anyone who believes that Trump's lawyer wrote his tweet about firing Flynn, please reveal yourselves; I want to know who I can laugh at.

After many hours spent searching for a job, I've finished my first week working for a law firm. Here's to hoping that many more follow.

Horoscope of the day: you're gullible.