(while I come up with my action, I'm just casually surprised how simply summoning a Kirby character before results in a waddle dee army and even the king himself, but not Kirby himself..?)
((Pssst Sky. You forgot to update the USS' health value as well as the entire Zombie P*glin.))
Y'know, giving the guy a charge a day turn sounds fun, but then people are going to miss my quality +1's, but also I just have this insatiable hunger to have strange things happen, yanno? That is why, I now make a +1 Generator. Except it is balanced in that it only gives its stuff to the Testificate guy. Yes, totally balanced.
[18/50]
A +1 of unspecified nature to Niyr(@Dragonwolf73) far wherever you are (yes I'm reusing that joke) if the generator at least gives the Testificate a +1, a + 1 of heavily specified nature to the Testificate that I give with a dejected heart if not.
Hedroc realizes this, yes. You're some tar guy, probably. Now, if he fed you asphalt, that's cannibalism there. A Smoothie, on the other hand, is just what kids throw at you during their Field Trips to the La Brea Tar Pits. It's the difference between fruits and hydrocarbons. Sure, technically fruits are made of carbons, but there's a lot of stuff in that category so...
Hedroc's digging his grave here. It's hard to find his dead body. All the rocks look the same. And- totally unrelated- boulders are great moisturizers. It's like a grind stone, but bigger and rounder. Better for buffing out those pores, you know.
Anyways, Hedroc realizes the error in his ways and tries again! He gives Boris a Smoothie Cup! Not the Smoothie! Just the Cup! The acid in those hydrocarbons should eat straight through that Styrofoam!
Hedroc is starting to get very possessive of Shotgun King. Which is weird, because chess pieces are made of wood, but... do not question the UNenlightened one.
Hm... the Shotgun King is gonna be pretty useless if it shoots that shot. Only seven hits! Won't do a thing to that balloon, and is TOTALLY EXCESSIVE against those Waddle Dees!
Solution! Hedroc steals a buck from the Shotgun King! Now, this sounds quite rude on paper, but trust me, it's super useful! See, the Shotgun King is clearly using Buckshot. Those are a few large projectiles, see.
Now Birdshot! Birdshot fires much smaller projectiles! So Hedroc gives the Shotgun King a raven! Why a raven? Because Odin, King of Valhalla!
The Shotgun King suddenly grows a beard! And an eyepatch! And smaller projectiles! For Odin in wise, and he knows to use the right ammo in the right situation!
Hedroc tucks the buck he stole in the Shotgun King's pocket. Can't be stealing any treasure from his Lord, can we?
The Shotgun King then points his Shotgun in the general direction of the Waddle Dees and fires with extreme prejudice! WHO CARES ABOUT PAWNS! HE'S AFTER THE KING!
...
And don't think I forgot.
Ignoreous Rock [25/25]!
Hedroc suddenly feels extremely nauseas. Something about eating all 25 of those number 1's of varying nutritional value and source of origin has totally ruined his diet! Hedroc starts barfing up Magma. Why Magma? Because Magma is only found in volcanos. Outside of a volcano, it's called Lava. But Hedroc can't eat real things! He can only eat concepts and metaphors and such! Like +1's!
So the Magma is a metaphor for... the burning desire to express one's own emotions and power!
Literally speaking, it's still Magma. Has a few shiny Igneous Rocks floating around in it, charred black and glowing red in the melted stone. Those are metaphors for the gems we hide within ourselves. Or something.
And MAN IS THAT A LOT OF BARF! Gosh! Hedroc has enough to make a statue out of all that stone and not-quite stone. In fact, he does!
A Golem rises from the piles of Hedroc's upchuck. It stands on pedestal-like feet of shining black stone. At its knees, Magma flows, connecting the lower legs to its solid upper thighs. Its v-shaped waist shifts between the trails of Magma that connect the legs to the upper torso. It readjusts its hips like a pair of underwear that's riding up on its flat rear.
The Golem's torso is broad and hunched, carrying the weight of extremely unnecessary musculature. Rock hard abs. Mountainous frame. That sort of thing.
It's arms are equally massive. The dark igneous rock is shaped like tubes, with small punctures of flowing Magma where the glassy stone shattered during growth. Its trunk-like arms reach all the way to the ground. With each knuckled step, it spills magma on the floor, leaving char spots in its wake.
Lastly, the head. Compared to the bulk of the rest of the structure, the head is quite ornate. Sharp features are stenciled into its skull-like face, making it look almost too human. From the inward-curved jaw to the zygomatic arch, and even the hilly ridges of the bottom of the skull. Magma glows in its eyes, and the black cavity of its mouth burns with molten saliva.
The Golem stands and rolls its ape-like shoulders, looking about at the battlefield. It looks like home, deep in a cave, but it knows that it isn't. Confused, it looks to Hedroc, who wears a gleeful smile.
Mel. That's what Hedroc names his new creation. Magma Mel. Short for Melvin, of course, but Hedroc likes Mel much better.
STATS: Magma Mel
Mel has a lot of HP. Some damage resistance to start with. Each subsequent attack against him deals less (i.e. damage resistance increases for the turn each time Mel is dealt damage).
And Mel is slow. Not much of an attack himself. And there isn't a lot that really gets on Mel's nerves.
That being said, Mel has a low basic attack. He also attacks last. But, for each attack that deals damage against him, his attack deals more damage that turn.
None of this is modified by the damage Mel suffers. Just additive modifiers based on the number of successful damaging hits. And each one lasts for that turn only. Modifiers go back to zero at the start of the next turn.
The Planning Room [8 or 9/15, depends on what happens with that +1 from Krill, and what happens with my own +1] +1 to Krill if his/her/their plan works and the testificate gets a +1 from a generator. If the generator does not work however, I offer to forfeit my own +1 instead of Krill having to, so the testificate can still receive a +1 so interesting stuff can still happen, while I still get a +1 to my charge.
[PLAIN][HR][/HR]]/PLAIN]
Niyr had an entire plan involving MAC rounds in atmosphere, K.A.T.E, music, and more. However, with K.A.T.E currently in fear of an airship, he is unable to receive important weather bonuses to his action. So instead, he'd save that plan for when K.A.T.E is operational again, while keeping in mind that powerful entites can strike fear in the heart of the weather machine.
His new plan would begin with him flying up to Kabula, and making his way inside and to the flight deck, where he would speak to the pilots. There, he'd find that the airship is lacking critical safety equipment that could lessen the chances of a serious incident, such as the complete lack of fire alarms, any aural warning system, and so on. These concerns would be so serious that he would take the pilots off of the flight deck and through a portal to The Serious Room™. In The Serious Room™, he would, with the help of the pilots, and several aviation experts, create a new warning system, with helpful wanrings like FIRE ENGINE 1 and STALL, as well as TOO LOW, TERRAIN and CABIN ALTITUDE. The recordings just so happen to be more or less identical to those used on the MD 11 or MD 80, but if anyone asks, it was just a coincidence.
Immediately after the device has been completed, he would return the pilots to the airship, as an aircraft without pilots is generally considered even less safe than one without alarms. Next, Niyr would go through with the device and a team of engineers, where they would proceed to run into a problem. The warnings were designed for a plane, this is an airship. But, Niyr would just give the engineers the order to "Make it work, by any means necessary." And they would. By ripping out massive chunks of the airship in the process, and making it briefly uncontrollable, causing it to collide with part of the cave. However, once they're done, they'd repair any damage they caused directly. However, they wouldn't touch the indirect damage, like from the collision, because they aren't being paid for that. So, after that, they'd leave, and the PG team would be left with one safer but slightly more damaged airship.
In summary, Niyr trades a bit of airship health to give it a bit of armour instead.
Further to that, he'd also ask that the crew fire a couple shots at the paradoxical intrusion for him as a favour in return for his upgrades. And if they still need convincing, he'd also tell them that the entities that would come from it might take a bit of pressure off the airship, as it's currently pretty much alone in the field.
Boris decides to spin a little bingo machine to decide who gets a +1, and gets up getting Pol, who gets it by having the ball being ejected from the machine at Mach 2.
"Ooh, thanks!"
Pol just catches the ball, completely ignoring its fast speed, and smashes it with their yoyo to reveal the +1. They then raise it into the air, where the +1 floats up and just disappears.
[32/35]: Morpho #2 has flown into the arena. Apparently it's in search of something.
+1 to Reese (@Champion Greninjoid)
[Action time]
Pol immediately returns to the - Pol, spokesperson here. Stop doing that right now. Using the weather won't boost your attack power right now. <<Who are you ag-> Unimportant. Don't bother reading the K.A.T.E. <<...alright then.>>
Pol looks around real quick. Amongst all the entities, Pol's gaze stops on the seagull. <I wonder what that would give upon death.>
Pol charges at the seagull to start, swinging at them with their yo-yo (without throwing it. Just whacking like a shield) from underneath. After the seagull dodges, Pol stomps lightly, sending up several thin pillars of rock that encircle the seagull in a cage, horizontally wise. It will still have a little bit of room to fly around with, though. Vertically wise, the seagull can still go all the way up to the floor and the ceiling. The rock pillars keep on rising from the ground and feed into the ceiling, forming a loop that will repair any broken sections of the bars as they go in the ceiling and loop back around to the ground.
Pol flies up to attack the seagull again and again by throwing their yoyo. Pol never returns the yoyo, allowing it to just keep on rolling out its apparently endless amount of string as the yoyo goes around each post, wrapping string around them, before turning back into the cage to attack the seagull (or just get to the next post if the seagull isn't even in the cage anymore). Once the yoyo has wrapped itself around each of the bars, the yoyo then starts attacking from above and below (or just swerving up and down, if again, the seagull isn't there to be attacked), wrapping around glass posts fixed in the air they were created in. Pol then teleports the seagull right in the centre of the little sphere made of all the points around which the yoyo string was wrapped, even if the seagull was no longer in the cage.
Pol yanks on the string they hold the yo-yo with, physically, making the string (apparently razor sharp now... at just an atom wide yet somehow retaining high durability) tighten into a knot that converges on the seagull. At the same time, the yo-yo itself flies back at the seagull, spinning faster than before and hitting it on its head. Pol then converges the now cut severed rock bars, still rising, on the seagull, and telekinetically throws the glass posts, now reformed into glass spike balls, at the seagull for good measure.
(you know what, nah, this calls for some bold action..)
``(1, 2, 3, it's time to stay down!)``
Ian would grab a chair and then proceed throw it at one of the enemies, he would then grab another chair and throw it at the other one, before throwing a
few more to keep them trapped, upon doing so, he would blast fire at them to ignite the chairs, before starting to walk off, but not before creating a flame wall as he assumes
they are strong enough to get back up but dumb enough to charge through the flames.
``(and I call that "The Bonfire..")``
[23/25]
(if you get the reference to the OOC line above, you are a legend.)
[Preaction] Reese, seeing a lone firearm on the ground, takes it.
[RPNULL] “…K.A.T.E., you’re a bucket, and a sturdy one at that. You probably wouldn’t even be destroyed with a head-on missile strike.”
[Action] Without a weather bonus to rely on, Reese has to cause chaos on his own.
“Just like the good old days…”
Now, without a basis this action would probably be pretty boring, so I may as well back it up with some reasoning:
A zeppelin is an airborne vehicle. Do you know what another airborne vehicle is? A plane. Commercial planes usually take off from airports, and New York City has three of those. The majority of Morbius took place there, and it bombed in the box office twice, so…
“It’s Morbin’ time.”
Two large bombs fall out of the sky and explode on Kabula.
Uhhh… [8/20]
+1 to @Changing Flask the Vestificate.
You do realize I'm a living liquid right? This is like offering you a boulder to eat.
Nonetheless he takes it, because his morality is questionable at best, and he's aware it's not alive.
Boris decides to spin a little bingo machine to decide who gets a +1, and ends up getting Pol, who gets it by having the ball being ejected from the machine at Mach 2. (+1 to @Banana_Fish)
Now onto with not the big blimp (he fears he might get caught in the Morbing), but the horde of Waddle Dee's underneath. But how would he do that? Well time to use his Secret Technique...
The Big Gun.
Now you'd think he'd shoot the crowd, right? Wrong, he's actually going to shoot himself. Now you may be wondering, "why would he do this?". Well you see, the way Boris's body works is a bit... strange. Objects he doesn't wish to absorb get stuck inside him, yet they don't lose their momentum. So after unloading into himself, he's essentially become a water balloon. If you filled one with around 72 bullets the size of an Xbox (Boris is the king the space maximization).
So now all Boris would need to do is waddle way over the crowd, pull out thetiny needle (had to get the mass for the Big Gun somewhere) and pop himself, causing a spray of bullets to go flying everywhere. Don't worry though, he reformed back near the Ir*on Golem, complete with giving the Golem a little hat as thanks for being a good return point.
Okay. Alice preforms a mighty SNOP. Transforming everything into ly drawn MS paint versions of themselves as well as converting the medium of the forum game into a comic.
"OH SHIZNASTY THERE IS TO MANY PRISES AND VALUES"
Alice is looking at y Jpegs of many of MUs deadliest weapons on a store shelf, however if you were to look at the prices you would see that it's so compressed you can't make out the prices.
Alice then takes a step back and begins falling down some stairs that defently weren't there before
"It keeps happening!"
Alice falls down all the stairs for a few panels before falling out of the panels completely! She finds herself on top of a panel containing Aspata wich she then cruples up into a ball
"And there she goes"
"The big girl hass the ball"
Alice then goes to Dunk it and gets SO MUCH AIR. Like this is unreal, oh God she is in space now. And she preforms a mighty CHAOS DUNK.
She then un-snops so nobody has to deal with this low-quality bull on there turn
((Pssst Sky. You forgot to update the USS' health value as well as the entire Zombie P*glin.))
Y'know, giving the guy a charge a day turn sounds fun, but then people are going to miss my quality +1's, but also I just have this insatiable hunger to have strange things happen, yanno? That is why, I now make a +1 Generator. Except it is balanced in that it only gives its stuff to the Testificate guy. Yes, totally balanced.
[18/50]
A +1 of unspecified nature to Niyr(@Dragonwolf73) far wherever you are (yes I'm reusing that joke) if the generator at least gives the Testificate a +1, a + 1 of heavily specified nature to the Testificate that I give with a dejected heart if not.
+1 generators are not allowed, under any circumstances.
To prevent confusion of charge parity, I'm going to say you and Niyr both give your +1s to the Testificate. The Testificate gives you a Potion of Instant Health! Next turn, you may heal 5,000 HP to any entity in addition to your standard actions.
Hedroc realizes this, yes. You're some tar guy, probably. Now, if he fed you asphalt, that's cannibalism there. A Smoothie, on the other hand, is just what kids throw at you during their Field Trips to the La Brea Tar Pits. It's the difference between fruits and hydrocarbons. Sure, technically fruits are made of carbons, but there's a lot of stuff in that category so...
Hedroc's digging his grave here. It's hard to find his dead body. All the rocks look the same. And- totally unrelated- boulders are great moisturizers. It's like a grind stone, but bigger and rounder. Better for buffing out those pores, you know.
Anyways, Hedroc realizes the error in his ways and tries again! He gives Boris a Smoothie Cup! Not the Smoothie! Just the Cup! The acid in those hydrocarbons should eat straight through that Styrofoam!
Hedroc is starting to get very possessive of Shotgun King. Which is weird, because chess pieces are made of wood, but... do not question the UNenlightened one.
Hm... the Shotgun King is gonna be pretty useless if it shoots that shot. Only seven hits! Won't do a thing to that balloon, and is TOTALLY EXCESSIVE against those Waddle Dees!
Solution! Hedroc steals a buck from the Shotgun King! Now, this sounds quite rude on paper, but trust me, it's super useful! See, the Shotgun King is clearly using Buckshot. Those are a few large projectiles, see.
Now Birdshot! Birdshot fires much smaller projectiles! So Hedroc gives the Shotgun King a raven! Why a raven? Because Odin, King of Valhalla!
The Shotgun King suddenly grows a beard! And an eyepatch! And smaller projectiles! For Odin in wise, and he knows to use the right ammo in the right situation!
Hedroc tucks the buck he stole in the Shotgun King's pocket. Can't be stealing any treasure from his Lord, can we?
The Shotgun King then points his Shotgun in the general direction of the Waddle Dees and fires with extreme prejudice! WHO CARES ABOUT PAWNS! HE'S AFTER THE KING!
...
And don't think I forgot.
Ignoreous Rock [25/25]!
Hedroc suddenly feels extremely nauseas. Something about eating all 25 of those number 1's of varying nutritional value and source of origin has totally ruined his diet! Hedroc starts barfing up Magma. Why Magma? Because Magma is only found in volcanos. Outside of a volcano, it's called Lava. But Hedroc can't eat real things! He can only eat concepts and metaphors and such! Like +1's!
So the Magma is a metaphor for... the burning desire to express one's own emotions and power!
Literally speaking, it's still Magma. Has a few shiny Igneous Rocks floating around in it, charred black and glowing red in the melted stone. Those are metaphors for the gems we hide within ourselves. Or something.
And MAN IS THAT A LOT OF BARF! Gosh! Hedroc has enough to make a statue out of all that stone and not-quite stone. In fact, he does!
A Golem rises from the piles of Hedroc's upchuck. It stands on pedestal-like feet of shining black stone. At its knees, Magma flows, connecting the lower legs to its solid upper thighs. Its v-shaped waist shifts between the trails of Magma that connect the legs to the upper torso. It readjusts its hips like a pair of underwear that's riding up on its flat rear.
The Golem's torso is broad and hunched, carrying the weight of extremely unnecessary musculature. Rock hard abs. Mountainous frame. That sort of thing.
It's arms are equally massive. The dark igneous rock is shaped like tubes, with small punctures of flowing Magma where the glassy stone shattered during growth. Its trunk-like arms reach all the way to the ground. With each knuckled step, it spills magma on the floor, leaving char spots in its wake.
Lastly, the head. Compared to the bulk of the rest of the structure, the head is quite ornate. Sharp features are stenciled into its skull-like face, making it look almost too human. From the inward-curved jaw to the zygomatic arch, and even the hilly ridges of the bottom of the skull. Magma glows in its eyes, and the black cavity of its mouth burns with molten saliva.
The Golem stands and rolls its ape-like shoulders, looking about at the battlefield. It looks like home, deep in a cave, but it knows that it isn't. Confused, it looks to Hedroc, who wears a gleeful smile.
Mel. That's what Hedroc names his new creation. Magma Mel. Short for Melvin, of course, but Hedroc likes Mel much better.
STATS: Magma Mel
Mel has a lot of HP. Some damage resistance to start with. Each subsequent attack against him deals less (i.e. damage resistance increases for the turn each time Mel is dealt damage).
And Mel is slow. Not much of an attack himself. And there isn't a lot that really gets on Mel's nerves.
That being said, Mel has a low basic attack. He also attacks last. But, for each attack that deals damage against him, his attack deals more damage that turn.
None of this is modified by the damage Mel suffers. Just additive modifiers based on the number of successful damaging hits. And each one lasts for that turn only. Modifiers go back to zero at the start of the next turn.
The Planning Room [8 or 9/15, depends on what happens with that +1 from Krill, and what happens with my own +1] +1 to Krill if his/her/their plan works and the testificate gets a +1 from a generator. If the generator does not work however, I offer to forfeit my own +1 instead of Krill having to, so the testificate can still receive a +1 so interesting stuff can still happen, while I still get a +1 to my charge.
[PLAIN][HR][/HR]]/PLAIN]
Niyr had an entire plan involving MAC rounds in atmosphere, K.A.T.E, music, and more. However, with K.A.T.E currently in fear of an airship, he is unable to receive important weather bonuses to his action. So instead, he'd save that plan for when K.A.T.E is operational again, while keeping in mind that powerful entites can strike fear in the heart of the weather machine.
His new plan would begin with him flying up to Kabula, and making his way inside and to the flight deck, where he would speak to the pilots. There, he'd find that the airship is lacking critical safety equipment that could lessen the chances of a serious incident, such as the complete lack of fire alarms, any aural warning system, and so on. These concerns would be so serious that he would take the pilots off of the flight deck and through a portal to The Serious Room™. In The Serious Room™, he would, with the help of the pilots, and several aviation experts, create a new warning system, with helpful wanrings like FIRE ENGINE 1 and STALL, as well as TOO LOW, TERRAIN and CABIN ALTITUDE. The recordings just so happen to be more or less identical to those used on the MD 11 or MD 80, but if anyone asks, it was just a coincidence.
Immediately after the device has been completed, he would return the pilots to the airship, as an aircraft without pilots is generally considered even less safe than one without alarms. Next, Niyr would go through with the device and a team of engineers, where they would proceed to run into a problem. The warnings were designed for a plane, this is an airship. But, Niyr would just give the engineers the order to "Make it work, by any means necessary." And they would. By ripping out massive chunks of the airship in the process, and making it briefly uncontrollable, causing it to collide with part of the cave. However, once they're done, they'd repair any damage they caused directly. However, they wouldn't touch the indirect damage, like from the collision, because they aren't being paid for that. So, after that, they'd leave, and the PG team would be left with one safer but slightly more damaged airship.
In summary, Niyr trades a bit of airship health to give it a bit of armour instead.
Further to that, he'd also ask that the crew fire a couple shots at the paradoxical intrusion for him as a favour in return for his upgrades. And if they still need convincing, he'd also tell them that the entities that would come from it might take a bit of pressure off the airship, as it's currently pretty much alone in the field.
You find that there are no pilots aboard Kabula! In spite of that, you command a platoon of engineers to fix it! It takes 50,000 damage and gains 5,000 permanent Armor!
You give +1 to the Testificate! It rewards you with a Silverfish Spawn Egg, summoning a [PG] Silverfish!
"Ooh, thanks!"
Pol just catches the ball, completely ignoring its fast speed, and smashes it with their yoyo to reveal the +1. They then raise it into the air, where the +1 floats up and just disappears.
[32/35]: Morpho #2 has flown into the arena. Apparently it's in search of something.
+1 to Reese (@Champion Greninjoid)
[Action time]
Pol immediately returns to the - Pol, spokesperson here. Stop doing that right now. Using the weather won't boost your attack power right now. <<Who are you ag-> Unimportant. Don't bother reading the K.A.T.E. <<...alright then.>>
Pol looks around real quick. Amongst all the entities, Pol's gaze stops on the seagull. <I wonder what that would give upon death.>
Pol charges at the seagull to start, swinging at them with their yo-yo (without throwing it. Just whacking like a shield) from underneath. After the seagull dodges, Pol stomps lightly, sending up several thin pillars of rock that encircle the seagull in a cage, horizontally wise. It will still have a little bit of room to fly around with, though. Vertically wise, the seagull can still go all the way up to the floor and the ceiling. The rock pillars keep on rising from the ground and feed into the ceiling, forming a loop that will repair any broken sections of the bars as they go in the ceiling and loop back around to the ground.
Pol flies up to attack the seagull again and again by throwing their yoyo. Pol never returns the yoyo, allowing it to just keep on rolling out its apparently endless amount of string as the yoyo goes around each post, wrapping string around them, before turning back into the cage to attack the seagull (or just get to the next post if the seagull isn't even in the cage anymore). Once the yoyo has wrapped itself around each of the bars, the yoyo then starts attacking from above and below (or just swerving up and down, if again, the seagull isn't there to be attacked), wrapping around glass posts fixed in the air they were created in. Pol then teleports the seagull right in the centre of the little sphere made of all the points around which the yoyo string was wrapped, even if the seagull was no longer in the cage.
Pol yanks on the string they hold the yo-yo with, physically, making the string (apparently razor sharp now... at just an atom wide yet somehow retaining high durability) tighten into a knot that converges on the seagull. At the same time, the yo-yo itself flies back at the seagull, spinning faster than before and hitting it on its head. Pol then converges the now cut severed rock bars, still rising, on the seagull, and telekinetically throws the glass posts, now reformed into glass spike balls, at the seagull for good measure.
(you know what, nah, this calls for some bold action..)
``(1, 2, 3, it's time to stay down!)``
Ian would grab a chair and then proceed throw it at one of the enemies, he would then grab another chair and throw it at the other one, before throwing a
few more to keep them trapped, upon doing so, he would blast fire at them to ignite the chairs, before starting to walk off, but not before creating a flame wall as he assumes
they are strong enough to get back up but dumb enough to charge through the flames.
``(and I call that "The Bonfire..")``
[23/25]
(if you get the reference to the OOC line above, you are a legend.)
A swarm of bats pours into the area, before converging in the shape of a massive vampire... Lord Ruthven has appeared! Defeating him will conclude the sidequest, giving you a choice of several rewards... But you're on a time limit!
~~~
Falks attacks Kabula, using both Cool Stickman Arts and his regular attack, and dealing a total of 27,500 damage! Falks regenerates! The Void Dragon attacks Kabula, dealing 5,000 damage and gaining 5,000 Antimatter! The Shotgun King fires his shotgun at the Hostile entities, hitting the Zombie Piglin and one Silverfish for 2,000 damage each, and three Silverfish for 1,000 damage! Captain Churchill fires all his weapons at Kabula, dealing 10,000 damage total!
Kabula fires its Triple Shot! Falks and the Void Dragon take 10,000 damage each! Magma Mel takes 9,900 damage! Magma Mel gains Armor and Attack!
The S*lverfish attack the Shotgun King, dealing 8,000 damage! They then create Infested Stone, summoning an additional 8 S*lverfish! The Zombie P*glin attacks the Shotgun King, dealing 10,000 damage! The Ir*n Golem attacks the Paradoxical Intrusion, destroying it! Several [N] entities emerge, but very few stay around! The only ones that remain are a pair of M*necraft Spawners!
The Seagull looks at Falks, who is badly wounded! It decides to turn Falks into a necktie and swallow him whole!
Aspera, meanwhile, is concerned that Kabula is already half dead!
Niyr, you really need to be more careful with your actions.
Aspera unleashes a wave of healing magic from his sword, healing 40,000 HP to Kabula!
All cooldowns advance! The Great K.A.T.E. displays new information!
~~~
Battlefield:
Lord Ruthven [H-SIDEQUEST]: HP: 50,000/50,000, Attack: 10,000, Change Form: Transforms into a swarm of Ruthven Bats, Summon Coffin Creatures: II, summons 4 Coffin Creatures, Holy Cross: IIII, ends the sidequest in failure, cooldown is slowed by destroying other [H] entities
Helmet Head [H]: HP: 5,000/5,000, spawns an Armor Bomb if damaged
~~~
Itinerary: AG: Destroy Aspera! N: Seek out your personal objectives. PG: Protect Aspera!
The Great K.A.T.E. is active and running!
Current version: 18.0
Global weather:
Current weather: Cloudy
Current time of day: Midnight
Number of moons in the sky: 7
Phase of largest moon: Quarter and two dimes
Current tide: Still running away, for some reason
Local weather:
Local flora report: A single red fern
Local fauna report: Foxes
Local weather report: Foggy
Local terrain report: Made of chess pieces
Able to see weather?: No
Able to see moons?: No
Closest body of water: N/A
Humidity:
Water: 51%
Airship: 10%
Additional notes: Thank you for installing the latest update! Local weather has been updated to reflect current area. Global weather will still be reported, but bonuses will not be usable if said weather is not applicable to local area.
Entities:
Void Dragon [Reese - AG]: HP: 65,000/75,000, Attack: 12,500, Regeneration: 10,000, Antimatter Cannon: 56,000
Magma Mel [Hedroc - AG]: HP: 90,100/100,000, Armor: 100, Attack: 100, can guard other entities, gains 100 Armor and 100 Attack each time Magma Mel is damaged, bonuses reset at the end of each turn, always attacks after all other entities and Godmodder(s)
Shotgun King [AG]: HP: 10,000/60,000, Shotgun Firepower: 7, Shotgun Ammo: 0 Loaded, 7 Available, Fire Shotgun: Deals 1,000 damage to random entities of a chosen faction for each Shotgun Firepower, requires 1 Loaded Ammo: Load Shotgun: Loads shotgun if ammo is available, gains ammo if none is available or shotgun is already loaded, can only use one skill per turn
Captain Churchill [AG]: HP: 23,000/50,000, Armor: 5,000, Main Gun: 10,000 damage, ignores armor, Machine Gun: 15,000 damage, stopped entirely by any amount of armor
Attack order: Triple Shot -> Kabula Tackle -> Deploy Waddle Dees -> Kabula Missile -> Repeat
Triple Shot: Deals 10,000 damage to up to 3 different targets.
Kabula Tackle: Deals 50,000 AoE damage. Kabula takes double damage while this is its next attack.
Deploy Waddle Dees: Summons between 50 and 150 Waddle Dees, chosen at random. All Waddle Dees attack a second time after this attack is used.
Kabula Missile: Deals 50,000 damage to a single target, or a crowd. Kabula has an additional 5,000 Armor while this is its next attack.
M*necraft Spawner [[Name Here] - N]: HP: 25,000/25,000, spawns hostile entities
M*necraft Spawner [N]: HP: 25,000/25,000, spawns hostile entities
M*necraft Spawner? [N]: HP: 25,000/25,000, spawns hostile entities
S*lverfish [H](x12): HP: 3,000/3,000, Attack: 1,000, ignores armor, Create Infested Stone: II
S*lverfish [H](x3): HP: 2,000/3,000
S*lverfish [H](x1): HP: 1,000/3,000
Zombie P*glin [H]: HP: 13,000/15,000, Attack: 10,000, will only attack entities that attack it
Ir*n Golem [N]: HP: 59,999/60,000, Attack: 10,000, only attacks entities that attack it or the Testificate
Testificate [N]: HP: 15,000/15,000, Trade: Give him +1 charge for something strange to happen!
USS New Jersey[N]: HP: 50,000/100,000, Armor: 10,000, Escort: Will guard player-made entities with less than 5,000 Attack (except Crowds)
Paradoxical Intrusion [PG]: HP: 33,333/33,333, spawns paradoxical [PG] entities upon death
Players:
LapisLazuli': Vortex [AG]
Dragonwolf73: Niyr [PG]
Firewing: Just Flask [AG]
Champion Greninjoid: Reese [AG]
Esther: Narrator [AG]
Razor_Typhoon: Ian [N]
Krill13: [Name Here] [N]
Layn: Layn [AG]
Banana-Fish: Pol [AG]
O.R.I.G.I.N.: Hedroc [AG]
Sylveone46: Cutlass McClaymore [AG]
6FootDeep: Swarm of Zachs [AG]
Zparks: Sblib [N]
Whimsythescholar: Alice [AG]
Crimtane Shovel: Boris [N]
Spoils of War: Misery: Polar Star. Owner: Reese. A strange gun, with two scratches embedded into it. It looks like it gets stronger if used carefully. Once every 3 turns, it can be used to deal 1,000, 2,500, or 5,000 damage, depending on its current level. The level goes up when PG entities die or the Godmodder takes damage, and it goes down when AG entities die. Level: 2, Cooldown: III The Teletubbies: Tubby Custard Machine. Owner: Pol. A whimsical machine with two large spires for storing Tubby Custard. Once every 4 turns, it can be used to heal 5,000 HP to any entity. This healing can bring entities over their max HP, if they're not already above their max HP. Additionally, the Tubby Custard Key may be used one time to revive any entity that died the preceding turn, with full HP. THE TUBBY CUSTARD KEY MAY ONLY BE USED ONCE THROUGH THE ENTIRE GAME. Cooldown: IIII. Tubby Custard Key: Available Fortegreen Crewmate: Emergency Meeting Button. Owner: Just Flask. A red button that can be used to assemble everyone in the area. Once every 5 turns, it can be used to summon a Crewmate, who the owner will be able to direct to various tasks. Its effectiveness will vary. Cooldown: IIIII
Permanent Upgrades:
Chapter 1: The Great K.A.T.E. A strange red bucket that contains a weather machine. What does K.A.T.E. stand for? Your guess is as good as mine! The Great K.A.T.E. provides many forms of weather information. The more kinds of weather information an action uses, the more damage it will deal if it succeeds, up to 3x the usual amount! However, if the attack doesn't use a piece of weather properly, all weather bonuses will be lost!
((I’m about to have to go for the rest of the month, so I may as well go out with a bang. Also, wouldn’t the Polar Star belong to Reese now? Or would it have taken an entire action to take it?)) “A book? Really?”
Reese glares at the Testificate, but then realized that the book is actually about advanced chess tactics. What’s that, you say? The local terrain is made out of chess pieces? Well, that’s pretty convenient. After reading a particularly helpful section of the book, Reese learns how to control chess pieces successfully, and so after he rallies the surrounding area to his cause he commands the chess pieces to organize their actions based on their type:
Pawns are commanded to protect their own kings and the Shotgun King, giving the Shotgun king a small armor boost. The bishops work together to corner Kabula while the rooks bash into it repeatedly. The knights utilize various combat maneuvers to try to take out as many S*over fish as possible. And lastly, the queens use their various possible attacking techniques to try to do some damage to the ‘M*necraft Spawner?’. The Void Dragon will attack Kabula this turn, using all necessary Antimatter to destroy Kabula which is now possible due to its double-damage debuff for the turn.
I spent all my time typing my action and so I can’t think of a name for this right now [10/20]
+1 to Testificate. “What can I say? I like gambling.”
((I’m about to have to go for the rest of the month, so I may as well go out with a bang. Also, wouldn’t the Polar Star belong to Reese now? Or would it have taken an entire action to take it?))
``(huh, guess this is the owner of this manor, well I got this strange feeling that I think of something strong...too bad I don't own a stake...)``
Ian would grab the Helmet Head
``(What I can do with this threat, maybe....)``
He would kick it into the wall with all his might, and as a added bonus, he would surround himself with electricity and charge at the Helmet Head, grabbing it and throwing it
at Lord Ruthven, hoping to leave quite a shock...
[24/25] (one more left, this could change if I get boosted, but we just have to wait and see...)
[RPNULL]
``(I know this seems like a bad time, but I'm tired of not having a individual to talk to, so this just have to do.)``
Cue Ian trying to contact someone from the main battlefield.
Anyways, Hedroc realizes the error in his ways and tries again! He gives Boris a Smoothie Cup! Not the Smoothie! Just the Cup! The acid in those hydrocarbons should eat straight through that Styrofoam!
Faster than a dolphin can blink, the cup is absorbed into the biomass of Boris.
Thanks to the usage of PlayerVision, Boris spots that Pol is 3 charges away, so throws them a +1 like a baseball at comicallylow speeds. (+1 to @Banana_Fish once more)
Now onto beating up this big old blimp, or so you thought. If I can direct your attention to the list of entities, you will see there's 3 M*necraft Spawners. However, look a little closer, and one has a question mark next to its name. Now Boris is a lot of things, but one thing he isn't is someone who'd ignore a mystery like that.
And so, rather than actually contribute to society this turn, he's instead trying to figure what's so confusing about this spawner. But he's not the brightest in this department, so he's gonna need some help. Fortunately for him, there's a bunch of foxes.
Now while foxes are cunning little critters, they lack the brainpower to mess with machinery. But that's where that fern comes into play my friends. For you see, that's no ordinary fern. Rather, it's the elusive Cerebral Foxtail, which when consumed, is said to increase one's knowledge dramatically. Unfortunately for him, there's only one. But hey, better than nothing.
Boris would then harvest the fern and make a nice tea from it, which he'd promptly give to one of the foxes, who would help him figure out what's up with the mysterious Spawner, before leaving as it's smart enough to realize this place is way too dangerous.
[RPNULL] Falks, you will be missed by most of us, but I didn't really know you so my opinions neutral
[RPNULL END]
Having finally fed Boris a proper meal, Hedroc can swallow his guilt. Literally! He digests it and makes a new charge!
Volc-AYE-NO!!! [1/10]
The guilt gives him indigestion. He spits up a medical textbook. It's all about morphology and development and evolution and all that good stuff. Looking at the other AG's, he gives it to... Pol! Because strategery... reasons... And his charge has the word "Morpho" in it. Clearly the Interdimensional Knight whatever knows how to use it!
Hedroc snatches a branch off that fern with his teeth and sticks it into Mel's unsuspecting joins. Mel vaguely looks at Hedroc, but he's gone before Mel can turn his head.
In other news, the branch is on fire! Super cool! And I bet you can guess what Hedroc's going to do with it.
He sends it back in time! ZAP! The burning branch is GONE! Woah.
Hedroc whistles a little tune as he looks around the mineshaft. With his chin, he lightly brushes aside some rubble, and he finds a shiny red stone embedded in the cave floor. Freeing the rock with his nose, he floats it up in front of his face. It's an odd piece of amber caught around a small branch. This shouldn't be a surprise, of course. This is pretty much how fossilization works.
But OF COURSE IT CAN'T BE THAT SIMPLE. Within the amber, the branch is still on fire. It burns brightly within the orange shell, causing it to glow red and yellow in Hedroc's psychic palm. How does that work? Ask somebody else! This is a Fire Stone! And you know what Fire Stones are good for?
Hedroc feeds the Fire Stone to one of the foxes. At first, the fox chokes on the rock. This is understandable. The truth of evolution is hard to swallow. Like birds. Their beaks are chosen by the environment. It's just the ones with the right beaks survive. There's no genetic ticker in the back of their heads or whatever that tells the whole population's beaks to grow this way or that. It's about survival. If you die, you can't make babies. Without babies, your beak shape doesn't go to the next generation. Evolution. Darwin. Facts.
BUT WE DON'T PLAY WITH FACTS HERE! The fox is absorbed by a blue aura, and it turns into GOOP! The orb shifts and swirls for a few moments, before it explodes with light!
And what remains is something you'd never expect. Mozilla Firefox! That's right, Hedroc just turned a fox into a computer. Take that science! Animal testing ethics are for the faint of heart. Just DO IT, Nike style.
What does Hedroc use this web browser for? He runs a Chess CPU of course! He loads up the current state of the battlefield, with himself as the Queen and the Kabula as the enemy King. The program loads for a few moments, analyzing the current board state for the fastest checkmate. It isn't hard to find. The enemy forces are in total disarray. But it is a computer PERFECT move! Not even the champs can beat that!
Hedroc puts on a fluffy crown as he crosses the battlefield. He fearlessly approaches the Kabula, stopping just a few squares ahead of the large airship. Then...
HEDROC GETS SMASHED BY THE ENEMY QUEEN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The morale of Hedroc's side is shattered at his loss. They will clearly lose this match...
PSYCHE! Hedroc's knight moves in, placing the Kabula in checkmate! The huge wooden chess piece rears on its horse, raising its lance and pointing it at the balloon. On the sidelines, Hedroc commands it to charge. It leaps over the enemy forces and pierces the Balloon King. As its lance connects, Firefox smiles. The Knight suddenly bursts into flame, catching the canvas sac of the balloon on fire as well. The two come crashing to the ground within the cave, and a tear drips from Hedroc's eye.
Beautiful.
Mel: Meanwhile, Mel finds himself standing in front of the Shotgun King. Just coincidentally. Mel hadn't moved at all. Neither had the Shotgun King. They were just... there.
Well, the Shotgun King probably reloads, anyways. Not that Hedroc has any control of that...
[RPNULL] The Zachs go into mass confusion. Now, they get to pick a target! "Well, what a mess!"
A cannon sticks out of the pile. 2 Zachs ride it. "Oho! I have been waiting 5 minutes to use this heavy load-a !"
But there's a tiny little HUGEEEEE problem. Whose side are they on???? "Okay...the side with the red bucket, or the side with the cool looking dude boss guy man?"
Well, they were signed for [AG], but they can't really do anything now aside from causing insanity...
[RPNULL END]
So, the swarm just casually dances! "Oh yeah! Damn, this song is fire!"
There isn't a song?! "Uhhh...hit the arrows and pretend it's a song!"
But a problem arises; who's the opponent? "I ain't need no opponent! Give me the goddamn charge!"
[2/10]
[Charges stuff + spoil of war use] [35/35]: Morpho #2 finds his way into the strange dimension, probably Forgo dreams.
Somehow, they've come across a pink puff,donning an orange helmet and an orange blade in hand, fighting a rather large... floating red orb.
It appears the battle atop a skyscraper is about to come to an end...
...because Morpho #2 landed on the red orb and absorbed it before the pink puff could land the final hit. In a flash of light, the red orb fades away, and the butterfly glows. The power taken from its predecessor, reclaimed.
Meanwhile, Pol notices that the energy they charged is ready for transport to the battlefield. They pull on one of their yoyo's sides, pulling out black, floating goo that Pol sets out in the air above. The goo forms a portal, the other side of which opens right in front of Morpho #2.
Morpho #2 just flies through it... but the pink puff follows him through. A shame this new portal has a bad tendency to weaken anything that goes through it on its way to this realm of chaos. Not that Pol would know.
Oddly enough, however, the pink puff just loses their current copy ability.
Morpho #2 exits the portal, and flies in front of Pol, before bursting into red light. A mini ball of light floats there for a moment, before it shrinks into nonexistence, revealing something covered in its ornate, blood red butterfly wings. The thing unfurls its wings, revealing a little black puff with stubby blue feet, a similarly ornate red helmet revealing white eyes, and a blue, glowing sword in one of its blue gloved hands.
WELCOME: MORPHO KNIGHT V2.
An entity with... not high damage and HP, but to make up for this, they specialise in damage redirection / cancellation. How? Just wait 'til Sky's update maybe.
Pol then hands the medical textbook from Hedroc to MK V2. He takes it, and looks at it. He looks at Pol with a confused look. He then shrugs and teleports the book away in a flash of red light.
"Alrightie then, Morpho. Attack the silver fish, and hit the PG one while you're at it (I'll mark it with a blue aura)."
A +1 balloon pops into existence, next to [Name here] (+1 to @Krill13).
Pol also teleports in more Tubby Custard, and teleports in front of the Void Dragon, to feed it the stuff, before teleporting back to the portal.
[NEW PLAYER JOIN]
The pink puff is also launched out of the portal, just before it closes.
It's everyone's favourite planet busting, soul killing, baby eldritch abomination, landing on their face and then getting up promptly on their stubby red feet with their stubby arms. Kirby looks around at their new surroundings. "Poyo."
They then spot Pol, and wave. "HIII!" "Hello!" Pol answers, just as enthusiastically.
Kirby then look around again, eyeing Kabula. Kirby points to them, looking at Pol inquisitively. "...ready for another adventure then?" "POYO POYO." Kirby shouts with a smile, jumping. "Haha, well, alright then! Just... one second." "Poyo!"
Cue the Deltarune party join music signifying that Kirby has joined the AG team. As a player.
...I'm just going to assume that entails Ian making another message by radio.
<Him again?>
<...let's see if someone else gets to it first. I do have things to do.>
Pol turns to the seagull, glaring at them. They then turn away. "Rest in peace, Falks."
Pol then teleports next to Kirby.
[Action]:
Kirby immediately summons their all-familiar yellow warp star, hopping on it. Pol copies this... by summoning an entire fleet of warp stars. Pol pops into existence several floating orbs on each of the pop stars, and then flies up to follow Kirby, already flying up to get into a better position to see stuff, tactically speaking.
About half of the unoccupied warp stars position themselves around where the Void Dragon's antimatter beam will be fired at Kabula, the orbs on top of them morphing into portals that will portal some chunks of the beam to several other locations around Kabula, still aimed at the blimp. The orbs on the other half of the warp stars morph into mirrors, which move into position, ready to reflect the antimatter beam chunks, making them take unnecessarily complicated detours on their trajectory towards Kabula, while somehow gaining power from the... magic imbuing qualities of said mirrors. Some antimatter beam chunks get imbued with fire wisps, while others with little lightning bolts.
Meanwhile, Kirby himself flies in front of an antimatter beam chunk and swallows it whole, before flying on his warp star into Kabula (in the main gas... flotation thing. IDK blimp part names okay?) and spitting it out and wrecking up Kabula from the inside.
[RPNULL... again.]
Pol then flies back. <...no one?>
<Well, alright then. Don't mind, either way.>
(Now listening to: Chaos channel 1. Current participants: Pol, Ian) <{Helloo again! You're back. Sooner than I thought.}>
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ly drawn MS paint versions of themselves as well as converting the medium of the forum game into a comic.
